


i've always liked to play with fire

by ksootaeho



Series: fire on fire (zurin) [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Suki (Avatar), Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay Male Character, M/M, Multi, Porn With Plot, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:02:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27410044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksootaeho/pseuds/ksootaeho
Summary: the war is over, and azarin and zuko now rule the fire nation. nothing else can go too terribly wrong, can it?spoiler: it can.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar)/Original Character(s), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)/Original Character(s), Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)/Original Character(s), Zuko (Avatar)/Original Male Character(s)
Series: fire on fire (zurin) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998289
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't read part one of this series, then this will make absolutely no sense to you so dedicate yourself a good long while to read that massive monstrosity then come back here.
> 
> there will be more ship tags added as they appear, but I'm not trying to spoil anything. while "him" was 99% plot with barely any smut, this fic will be majority smut with a tiny plot around it. do not hold me accountable for staying true to the comics or updating regularly. this is a self indulgence bc my boys finally got together and now they wanna fuck everyone.
> 
> title is taken from "play with fire" by sam tinnesz
> 
> [click to listen to the zurin playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3DDmbsUx1E36RsvagTNwKp?si=fExhKeqkQBencPL2-1aTlA)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this lil prologue of azarin being hot and having daddy issues<3

Azarin twirls the ring around his finger absently.

If he had known that running a nation would be this incredibly  _ boring, _ he would have signed up to be the trophy husband instead of agreeing to take half of Zuko’s responsibilities as Fire Lord. Not that he  _ agreed _ to anything; he came up with the entire position, himself. But maybe he wouldn’t have if he knew he would be sitting in meeting after meeting and signing documents and meeting people he doesn’t care to meet, day in and day out. How can his job be so exhausting yet incredibly boring at the same time?

“Commander?”

Hearing the title pulls Azarin from the complaining inside his head, and he looks up at the table full of his military generals a little awkwardly. Maybe he should have been paying attention, if only a little. “Uh...sorry. What were you saying?”

“The final thing on our agenda today is deciding whether or not to send ships and troops to the colonies in the Earth Kingdom,” General Li, Azarin’s favorite advisor so far, explains things simply for him but not in a condescending way. It’s why Azarin likes him, considering the rest of the Fire Nation officials speak to him like he’s a five year old learning to read. “Fire Lord Zuko has sent word of his support of the Earth King’s Harmony Restoration Movement. He needs your approval to send ships and troops to gather citizens from the colonies and bring them back to the Fire Nation.”

This piques Azarin’s interest, probably because Zuko’s name had come up, but he isn’t going to admit that out loud. “And where would these citizens stay once they get here?”

Apparently, that isn’t something that Zuko has quite figured out yet, because the men at the table look around at each other like they’re scrambling to come up with something telepathically. “Well...sir...that hasn’t exactly come up yet.”

“Then let’s discuss it,” Azarin says, sitting up in his seat more. “This is why my position was created in the first place. Zuko—er, the Fire Lord—can sometimes do things impulsively. Even though he means well by suggesting the Fire Nation colonies be dispersed, I’m sure he didn’t think about the fact that those people have probably never stepped foot on the homeland and would have nowhere to go.”

“I suppose you’re right, sir, but what can we even do about that?” One of his more disliked Generals asks this, and Azarin really can’t remember his name, but he guesses that’s because he doesn’t remember people he doesn’t get along with, not unless they royally piss him off.

Azarin shrugs, and returns to twirling the wedding ring around his finger. “We can create camps for them to stay until they can find jobs and housing. We can create grants for them to apply for if they have children so they can put them in school, we can provide food for them and if we have enough time, we should probably build housing that isn’t outrageously priced so they can actually afford it once they’re able to make money again.” It doesn’t sound too crazy to Azarin...in fact, it sounds like a grand idea, but one of the men at the table slams his fist down in protest.

It’s Azarin’s  _ actual _ least favorite person he’s met so far, General Suchen. “Impossible! There simply aren’t enough men at our disposal to accomplish something like this! Half of the military quit once they got wind of how you weaseled your way into power!”

Azarin sighs, running a hand over his face and giving the man the fakest smile he thinks he’s ever put on. “General Suchen, if you believe I  _ weaseled _ my way into anything, then you are more than welcome to leave and you’ll never have to deal with me again.” It’s a shame that Azarin is trying to  _ not _ fire everyone that pisses him off, because Suchen would have been the first to go if that were the case. But Azarin is trying to be better than the last hundred years of leadership the Fire Nation has had, so as long as Suchen is willing to be here, then Azarin will put up with him.

“And watch you run the greatest military in history into the ground?” Suchen counters, scoffing. “Unlikely. I would be remiss if you ruined everything and I’m not here to help put a stop to it.”

“Do you talk this much shit about Zuko to his face, too?”

Nearly everyone in the room gasps, and Azarin realizes the mistake he’s made only  _ after _ the words have left his mouth. He’s just so exhausted and this is the fourth meeting he’s had today and he just wants to get on his ship to Ba Sing Se so he can see his husband and his friends again. He never wanted to stay behind in the first place, but there’s just so much to do when it comes to the military that he couldn’t get away a few days ago when Zuko left. Now, he’s just insulted his General while also being ‘disrespectful’ of the Fire Lord by not using his title, and Azarin feels like sinking into the ground would be a better fate for him at the moment.

“Insolence! Childish insolence!” Suchen roars, standing from his seat and pointing a finger toward Azarin. “You are the most disrespectful child I have ever met in my life! And to think your father was one of the greatest military men in Fire Nation history...Zhao would roll over in his grave if he saw you now.”

That absolutely does it for Azarin. He stands as well, bending fire toward Suchen and raising his voice. “You want to talk about disrespect?” Azarin’s anger is getting the best of him but he can’t stop it. He pulls apart his robes and jerks the neckline to the side, revealing his visible burn scar, as opposed to the barely there handprint on the other side of his chest. “My father did this to me when I was thirteen years old, because I liked a boy. Four years later he chained me up and tortured me for  _ days _ with the intent to do so until I agreed to marry a woman.” He lets go of his robes and sends more flames in the General’s direction, making him jump back to avoid it. “I don’t know about you, General Suchen, but that sounds like disrespect to me. Frankly, I don’t care how many times that man rolls over in his grave but I hope that every single time he does, it’s because of me.”

“I...I didn’t know…” Suchen stutters out, as Azarin walks around the table toward him. “I’m so sorry, Commander, I—”

“I should remind you that I also killed my father, so how great of a military man could he have been if he was bested by — what was it you called me? — ah, yes...a disrespectful child.” When he reaches Suchen, Azarin stops directly in front of him, mildly enjoying the fear in the man’s eyes. He lowers his voice. “Don’t ever speak about my father again, or I’ll give your job to another insolent child that can do it better.”

General Suchen nods, and immediately drops to the floor in a wildly respectful bow. “I am so sorry, Commander Azarin.”

Turning to walk away before he says or does something he may regret, Azarin heads for the door. “This meeting is over. Approve the ships and soldiers. I’m going to Ba Sing Se to see my husband.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs:
> 
> collide - rachel platten  
> warmer - bea miller  
> stay - gracie abrams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vaguely follows events of the promise comic...? kinda. maybe. if you squint.
> 
> tw/cw: smut, violence, ptsd, mentions of rape
> 
> hello all and welcome back to the shit show that is zurin! the length of this chapter is exactly 12k words so grab a drink or two and dive right in.
> 
> [click to listen to the zurin playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3DDmbsUx1E36RsvagTNwKp?si=fExhKeqkQBencPL2-1aTlA)

There’s a lot more to running a nation than both Azarin and Zuko had thought. Like, having to perform marriage ceremonies for nobility and military officers, approving trade between countries, signing documents... _ holy shit _ there are so many documents to sign and Azarin thinks there seriously might be something wrong with his hand and wrist at this point from just how many things require his signature now. Every new law, every old law they amend, even the smallest of construction requests from business owners in the capital have to be signed by one or both of them. That alone is exhausting...for Azarin, at least. Zuko seems to not mind the daily duties of being Fire Lord.

Azarin, however, misses  _ so much _ about the last few years of his life. He didn’t realize just how much he would miss traveling until he became stuck in one place for an extended period of time. Sure, being at the palace is infinitely better than camping in the woods, sleeping on the ground, and eating scraps of meat and the occasional mushroom Aang could find. But it isn’t the luxuries that Azarin is worried about...it’s his friends, and the memories he made with them. It’s the freedom they had, the freedom to do and be anything they wanted.

Now, Azarin is expected to do and be the perfect leader, husband, politician. He doesn’t like being restricted unless it’s for the greater good, and he doesn’t like being told what to do, especially not by a bunch of old men that wouldn’t know the first thing about what he and Zuko have been through, not only together, but in their own separate lives. It’s hard for Azarin to hold his temper and he’s sure that Zuko has grown tired of having to prevent him from burning Council members or Fire Sages. Maybe if they stopped being  _ absolute pricks, _ Azarin wouldn’t get so worked up over the things they do and say.

Like now, when Azarin is trying to plan the first act of the Fire Nation’s World Rebuild Project (a subset of the Earth King’s Harmony Restoration Movement), and just about everything he’s suggesting is getting shot own by Council members not wanting to give up Fire Nation resources to help rebuild a better wall for Ba Sing Se after Azula destroyed a lot of the previous one. All Azarin wants is a couple hundred firebenders and a few thousand kilos of steel to take to Ba Sing Se with him. He feels it isn’t a lot to ask.

“As I am sure General Suchen has iterated to you, Commander, we simply do not have the soldiers to disperse like this anymore,” a Councilman says this like Azarin is a toddler, like Azarin doesn’t understand the concept of having lost half of the military when the war ended. It pisses him off.

“General Suchen is on thin ice with me, so I’d watch it if I were you,” Azarin responds, his voice charp. “I understand we don’t have as many people to use anymore. I am  _ very _ well aware of that. However, the need for a military presence is not as pressing as it has been for the last -- I don’t know -- hundred years? I should be able to train and travel with a few hundred firebenders for this project.”

A few of the men shift in their seats, like they’re uncomfortable, and Azarin smiles because good. They should be. “If you take half the military with you to Ba Sing Se, we will not have enough of a presence in the homeland to protect ourselves.”

Azarin lets out a long sigh, running a hand down his face because these men just really  _ do not _ seem to be getting it. “And what, might I ask, do we need protection from?”

Silence fills the room as the men look at each other, and one of the Sages shrugs. “An attack?”

“From whom?” Azarin asks, expectantly. None of them seem to have an answer, so he continues. “We are no longer at war. Despite the reason for them leaving, it actually makes my job a hell of a lot easier because I was planning on cutting the military budget in half, anyway. It’s good they left; we wouldn’t have needed them.”

A few scoffs sound off, and several of them shake their heads. “You want to take half of our remaining troops across the world with you, while also cutting funding for the very military that you are asking to work for you?”

“No,” Azarin stands from his chair, leaning over the table in front of him and lowering his voice. He is getting  _ far _ too agitated and Zuko isn’t here to keep him in check. “I  _ am _ taking half of  _ my _ military across the world to help rebuild the capital of the kingdom that  _ you _ helped tear apart for a hundred years. I am the Fire Nation Military Commander, I  _ command the military. _ I shouldn’t have to ask all you bags of bones to do what I want to do, but it’s protocol and I’m trying not to piss too many people off even though all of  _ you _ make it your daily mission to piss  _ me _ off to no end.”

When Azarin sits back down, he lets out a frustrated breath as a Councilman speaks. “Lord Zuko would treat us with a bit more respect than you do, child.”

Rage tingles down Azarin’s spine, but he remains seated this time, clenching his fists tightly to prevent himself from yelling or hurting anyone. “Zuko isn’t here, is he? And the last time I checked, all of you are the ones that need to be respecting  _ me _ instead of demanding my own respect without giving me any in return. I don’t care how old you are. I am your superior, and if you can’t learn what that means then maybe I’ll stop asking and start  _ doing.” _ Azarin has honestly gotten used to being called a child by these people, so it’s much easier to ignore, even if it still bothers him somewhat. He isn’t a child anymore, he hasn’t been in a long time, and these old men just want to piss him off so he’ll do something he’ll regret and they can overthrow him. Well, not today.

“I still can’t believe the Fire Lord insisted on marrying a man, when a woman would never give us this much grief.” Another Councilman chimes in, ignoring Azarin’s speech, and this is what makes Azarin finally lose it.

“Because women are and always will be subservient to men, right?” Azarin snaps, standing from his seat again. “All women are good for is being quiet and having children. I’m sure all of your wives would  _ love _ to know that’s what you think of them. And while we’re at it, why don’t I introduce you to my friend Katara, you tell her the same thing you told me, and we’ll see how long you keep your life.”

“Commander--”

“Or better yet!” Azarin interrupts. “How about my friend Toph, a twelve year old girl who is the first person in history to be able to bend  _ metal. _ Or what about Suki, a girl without bending who single handedly helped me and five others escape the Boiling Rock by successfully incapacitating the warden, completely on her own.”

“Commander Azarin, we--”

“We can’t forget the Fire Lord’s friend Mai, who also took down a dozen prison guards on her own. She can’t bend, either.” At this point, Azarin is beginning to get smug, because he knows so many women that could and  _ would _ end these dusty old men at the drop of a hat. “And I can’t believe you’re all forgetting your own princess, the youngest firebender in history to master lightning.”

“Princess Azula was not--”

“She was twelve when she began learning it, thirteen when she mastered it. The last record for that was fifteen, and it was Avatar Roku. I know my facts.” He likes interrupting them all. It’s amusing, and it’s putting him in a much better mood. Azarin sits down with a smile on his face. “So when I tell you all that your views on women are  _ completely _ wrong, I mean it. The  _ teenage girls _ that I know prove you wrong. If Zuko didn’t marry me, he would have married Mai, and she would have sliced your tongue  _ right _ out of your mouth for saying something like that about her.”

They’re all staring at him, and one Sage is brave enough to speak again. “C-Commander...I mean no disrespect, but I think the Councilman perhaps wouldn’t have said that...if Lord Zuko had married a woman…” He has a point, and now that Azarin is somewhat calmed down, he only shrugs in response instead of getting worked up again.

“You may be right, but don’t think that just because she’s a woman that she would sit back and take all the bullshit you all put the Fire Lord through.” Azarin pauses, letting out a snort of a laugh. “In fact, she stays on  _ my _ ass about treating Zuko properly. I’d hate to see what she would do to all of you if she were Zuko’s wife.”

Again, there’s a short silence, and Azarin is about to bring the conversation back to the point of the entire meeting itself, when the doors to the Council room open and a servant announces the Fire Lord’s presence. Every Sage and every Councilman stand from their seats only to drop to the floor in a bow when Zuko enters, but Azarin only smiles as he gets up and pulls Zuko into his arms tightly. He wants to kiss him, but he knows showing that kind of affection in front of these stuck up old men will only cause them both more issues. So Azarin holds himself back and lets Zuko head to the other side of the table to sit down.

“My Lord, to what do we owe this privilege?” The same Councilman that said the Fire Lord marrying a woman would cause them less grief,  _ actually _ has the nerve to speak to Zuko. Azarin holds back his anger.

“I heard this meeting was running longer than expected, so I decided to stop by and see how the plans are going,” Zuko’s voice is stern as he looks at the men surrounding him. Azarin knows it’s just how Zuko speaks when he’s doing Fire Lord things, but his attention is drawn to it because he’s used to something being wrong when Zuko speaks like this. “Seeing as you all tend to give Azarin hell when he wants to make decisions.”

Azarin smiles as he leans back in his seat. “Don’t worry, honey...this time they’re just being sexist pricks.”

“Oh?” Zuko seems interested and the smallest smile pulls at the corners of his lips. “Well, why don’t we invite Katara to one of these meetings and they can deal with her instead? It’s not like you’d all end up frozen in a block of ice, or something.”

“Lord Zuko, Commander Azarin...we mean no disrespect to your waterbender friend, but--”

“Her name is Katara,” Azarin cuts off the Sage that was speaking, who nods.

“Katara. We mean no disrespect to her. Our sincerest apologies.” He as well as the other Sages and Councilmen press their hands together and bow their heads. Azarin has to admit it’s always an improvement in behavior from every last one of them when Zuko is there as opposed to when it’s Azarin alone. He isn’t complaining, but he’d like even just the smallest amount of the respect they give Zuko. He would get less headaches from how frustrating these meetings are.

“Anyway,” Zuko begins, raising his voice a little to command the attention of the room. Azarin loves it, if he’s being honest. “What’s taking so long in here? I’d like to have dinner with my husband and go to bed.”

A Councilman clears his throat a little before speaking. “We were telling Commander Azarin that taking half of our troops to Ba Sing Se will leave the Fire Nation defenseless, and trying to advise him to take another route.”

“Since when is calling me a child and saying if Zuko had married a woman then you wouldn’t be getting as much grief  _ advising me _ to take another route?” Azarin should be used to how two-faced and manipulative these people are by now, but sometimes it still comes as a shock to him.

When Azarin looks back to Zuko, the Fire Lord’s hands are curled into fists on the table. “So, not only are you disrespecting women, but you’re disrespecting my husband on top of it?  _ And _ saying my decision to be happy in marriage is causing you grief?”

At this, the room erupts into men trying to save their positions, and perhaps their lives.

“No, Lord Zuko, we didn’t mean--”

“That is not what any of us meant when we--”

“My Lord, I apologize if--”

_ “Enough!” _ Zuko shouts, standing from his chair. The way his voice echoes throughout the room brings silence to the men around them, and Azarin is starting to get turned on even if he knows that this is probably the worst possible time for that to happen. “You are all suspended from military decisions until further notice. Azarin is trying to fix what the Fire Nation has broken, and you’re all more worried about what your life would have been like if I had never married him. Maybe we have a few more laws to change than I thought.”

When he and Zuko walk out, Azarin is smiling bigger than he has all day. After dinner and washing the day off of themselves, he decides to suggest something a little different from their norm before bed, for a lot of different reasons. He hopes Zuko is okay with it, even though Zuko has expressed in the past that he wouldn’t be. Maybe he can channel some of that Fire Lord energy that Azarin sees in him on a daily basis now.

“Zu…” Azarin’s voice is a lot breathier than he intends, probably because Zuko has his dick in his mouth. Maybe he should have suggested it before they had gotten into things, but Azarin will never ever pass up an opportunity to have Zuko suck him off. “Zuko...wait.” Reluctantly, he pulls Zuko off of his cock and isn’t surprised when he hears the Fire Lord whine. Azarin holds Zuko’s face in his hands. “I want to try something different tonight.”

Zuko blinks, probably trying to form coherent thoughts through his haze of lust. “You...don’t want to have sex?”

“I do, but...a little differently.” Azarin lets out a small sigh and pulls Zuko up to lie on top of him on the bed, pressing their lips together and enjoying the moan that Zuko emits into his mouth. The way Zuko’s skin is touching him is like electricity against his nerves, and Azarin tries to relax a little before suggesting this. It isn’t comfortable for him, but it might be what’s best for Zuko, and that’s all Azarin ever wants. He pulls back and smiles a little as Zuko holds himself over him. “You should fuck me.”

Eyes going wide, Zuko pulls back more and immediately shakes his head. “Rin, no...I told you that’s not what I want…” The Fire Lord’s hand runs across Azarin’s neck to his chest, the touch sending tingles of pleasure through Azarin. “I wouldn’t even begin to know how to be dominant enough for that…”

“Okay, first of all, you’re dominant every single day so I don’t want to hear that. Just because it would be with me, where you normally  _ aren’t _ dominant, doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of it.” Azarin bucks his hips up to get some friction against his cock before it starts getting soft again. Zuko groans and bites his lip before Azarin continues speaking. “Second, you don’t have to necessarily be dominant to fuck someone. What if I told you what to do, and how to do it? You wouldn’t have to make any of the decisions.”

“I guess you’re right...I just…” Zuko’s voice is soft, and hesitant. He looks away. “I don’t want it to be because you think I can’t handle sex…” The Fire Lord’s eyes find Azarin again, and the guilt there is almost unnerving. Azarin will never understand how or why the victim of such a heinous crime feels responsible for the mental trauma it causes them. Zuko didn’t do this to himself, so why does he always feel guilty when he reacts because of the trauma Ozai gave him?

“Believe me, Zuko, I know you can handle sex,” Azarin responds, trying to keep the tone light enough that Zuko doesn’t get any more upset than he already may be. “I just want you to be able to enjoy it without thinking about what happened sometimes. Not every time. I don’t think I could handle it  _ every _ time. But...maybe sometimes we can do this and you can get a break from the mental bullshit you go through on a daily basis. I just want you to be okay, Zuko...I want to take care of you in any and every way I can.”

Azarin sees Zuko flash a smile before they’re kissing again and Zuko’s hips roll down, making their lengths slide together. Both of them moan from the sensation and Azarin grips Zuko’s hips, roughly pulling them down more to get more of the friction. He bites Zuko’s lip to stop himself from moaning too loudly, because he’s already enjoying this and he didn’t think he would. He thinks about Zuko struggling to stop himself from coming, Zuko whining for something in his ass and Azarin denying him, Zuko listening to everything Azarin says like the good boy he is. Maybe Azarin should have tried this sooner, maybe he should have realized earlier that he doesn’t have to give up dominance if he bottoms. Either way, he’s starting to think they’ll be doing this more often if things keep going the way they are.

After a little while longer of just grinding against each other naked, Azarin starts to grow impatient because he knows that at this point he would already have two fingers inside Zuko and the Fire Lord would be begging to be fucked. He growls a little and pulls Zuko’s head back by his hair. “Are you going to do something or do you just plan to rub your dick on me until you come all over me like a slut?”

Zuko whines and his breath is heavy. “T-Tell me what to d-do, Rin…”

“Get the oil and  _ finger me, _ Zuko,” Azarin’s tone is harsh, but he knows Zuko enjoys it. And  _ maybe _ he’s playing it up a bit more than usual, so Zuko doesn’t feel like he’s in charge of anything that’s happening, because Azarin doesn’t like giving up the control of himself that he’s tried for the last few years to get a handle over. He always tells himself that he’s worked hard to gain control over himself and his emotions, and even though he has a few slip ups with his anger since he moved back to the Fire Nation with Zuko...he likes to think that his sexual self control is just as important. Azarin likes keeping himself under control. Maybe he likes controlling Zuko, too, but he doesn’t ever let that thought linger in his mind for too long.

Zuko fumbles with the bottle of oil he’d retrieved from the bedside table, trying to pour it onto his fingers but spilling some of it onto Azarin’s chest. He looks panicked for only a moment before Azarin brings a hand up to spread it around, and immediately Zuko’s eyes are drawn to the hard outlines of his husband’s muscles shining with oil. Azarin smiles, then takes the bottle from Zuko to put the stopper back in it, throwing it to the other side of the bed in case they need it later. He pushes Zuko’s hand down between them and Azarin shifts his legs open a little further so he has room, and then a finger is pressing against Azarin’s entrance and he drops his head back onto the bed underneath him, letting out a breath.

The feeling is a little foreign but not unwelcome, and when he gets adjusted to the single finger inside him, Azarin moves his hips down for more while Zuko is kissing down the column of his neck. Zuko pushes a second in, and the stretch makes Azarin hiss for a moment, but he’s pleasantly surprised when he hears himself moan not shortly after. Zuko starts moving his fingers gently, in and out of Azarin, but he wants more. Zuko is treating him like he’s fragile, and Azarin is anything but.

“Do it harder,” Azarin says, pulling Zuko’s head out of his neck, fingers gripping the Fire Lord’s hair still. “And deeper. I’m not going to break.”

Zuko’s eyes study his face for a moment. “I just don’t want to hurt y--”

“I told you to do something, Zuko.  _ Do it.” _ Azarin commands this and Zuko instantly complies, pushing his fingers harder and deeper in, and Azarin actually groans at the sensation. His hips buck up for more just as he closes his mouth over Zuko’s, tongue pressing into the Fire Lord’s mouth immediately. Azarin holds Zuko’s head to his own while they kiss, and Zuko adds another finger, and Azarin is now  _ enjoying _ the stretch he feels so he moans into Zuko’s mouth. The Fire Lord staggers for a moment to let out a whine, but then he’s pressing harder and deeper with each thrust of his fingers inside Azarin. Zuko is good, Zuko is  _ so good, _ he’s so good at listening and he’s so good for Azarin that it makes Azarin want to flip him over and fuck him into the mattress, but that isn’t what they’re doing. He has to remember that.

Azarin takes in a sharp breath when Zuko’s fingers hit that spot inside him, that spot that always makes Zuko whine and beg to be fucked harder, and now Azarin knows exactly why. His back arches off the bed and he breaks away from their kiss to moan into the cool air around them. When he looks back to Zuko, the Fire Lord is biting his bottom lip and whimpering. “Rin...p-please…”

Smiling, Azarin grinds his hips down onto Zuko’s fingers, elated when Zuko halfway whines and groans. “Please what, Zuko? What do you want?”

“I want you to fuck me,” is Zuko’s immediate response, but he quickly corrects it. “But...that’s not what we’re doing…”

“No, it’s not what we’re doing,” Aarin’s voice is low, and he just wants more before he starts thinking too much about the fact that someone else is on top of him with three fingers inside his ass. “So what is it that you want, then?”

Zuko gulps back nervousness, and pulls his fingers out of Azarin to wipe them on their discarded clothes. “I...I want to be inside you…” He doesn’t sound sure of himself, but he doesn’t have to be. Azarin is making his decisions for him at the moment.

“So do it, Zuko,” he says, reaching for the discarded bottle of oil and handing it back to his husband. Azarin then leans up to speak into Zuko’s ear as he jerks the Fire Lord’s head to the side by his hair, ignoring the sharp intake of breath from him. “Fuck me.”

Again, Zuko fumbles with the oil but manages not to spill any this time as he coats his already leaking cock with it, then sets it aside. Zuko moans softly as he strokes himself, then aligns the tip of his length to Azarin’s hole and begins to push in.

It’s a lot less painful than Azarin had imagined, but maybe he’s just so turned on that he doesn’t notice or care about it. Once fully inside, Zuko stays like that for a few moments as he groans and whines and tries to clutch at Azarin’s shoulders for leverage. When Azarin is as adjusted as he’s going to get, he gives a small roll of his hips that makes them both gasp, pleasure shooting up Azarin’s spine and causing Zuko to shiver a little, dropping down onto his elbows to hold himself up. He attaches his lips to Azarin’s neck and sucks bruises into the skin there as he begins to steadily thrust and it feels good, Azarin feels good, but he knows in the back of his mind that it isn’t  _ nearly _ as good as having his cock buried deep into Zuko’s ass.

Still, even though it isn’t  _ quite _ as enjoyable for him as sex with Zuko normally is, Azarin’s body is filled with pleasure simply from the fact that Zuko is letting out these little noises into Azarin’s neck every time he pushes in, and Zuko is digging his fingers into his shoulders like he always does when they fuck, and if Zuko just shifts a little then his dick will hit that spot and --  _ oh, fuck. _

“Zuko,  _ fuck, _ you’re doing so good,” Azarin breathes out, holding Zuko tightly to him. “You’re so good for me, just a little faster, Zu…”

Without a second thought, Zuko does as he’s told, thrusting faster into him and Azarin groans because it really does feel good, but there’s for sure something missing. Azarin loosens his hold on Zuko just a little so he can reach his hand between them and fiercely stroke his cock, gripping his length tightly and moaning as he does so. Zuko moans with him and his breath is beginning to get even heavier as he breathes out Azarin’s name mixed with curses and groans, and Azarin knows the telltale signs of Zuko’s orgasm like he would his own.

He rolls his hips up and Zuko pulls his head out of Azarin’s neck to moan loudly as he sloppily presses their lips together, and they’re both losing control of themselves so much that they’re breathing fire into each other’s mouths as they kiss. It’s an incredible feeling and Azarin really thinks they need to try to do more with their firebending during sex, but they always just get far too worked up to ever remember to do it until something happens like now, when they don’t even realize it’s happening.

Azarin wants to be the first one to come, he wants to make this as pleasurable as possible for Zuko and he knows his own orgasm would feel wonderful for his husband. But the Fire Lord lacks so much sexual self restraint that as soon as Azarin’s orgasm starts building in his gut and the walls of his ass begin to flutter around the length inside him, Zuko’s muscles tense and his hips stutter as he comes, moaning and whining as his body shudders from the intensity of it.

“Fuck...Azarin,  _ please…” _ Zuko breathes out against Azarin’s lips, his cock fully sheathed while it spurts hot cum inside him. Azarin groans when Zuko grinds himself further into him. “Fuck me, Rin, please fuck me…”

That’s what sends Azarin spiralling down into his own white hot pleasure. Zuko begging to be fucked is quite possibly the most erotic thing Azarin has ever heard, and it always sparks something deeply dominant within him that he can’t ignore.

Azarin growls and brings his free hand up to grip into Zuko’s hair roughly again, leaning up to snarl his words in the Fire Lord’s ear all while he’s still stroking his own cock and spilling cum over his hand. “Are you such a needy slut that you can’t even fuck someone without wanting me in your ass?” Zuko whines in response, nodding a little and Azarin bucks his hips up as more waves of his orgasm crash through him. “You’re so good, Zuko. So fucking good. A good slut for me.  _ Fuck.” _

A whimper escapes Zuko and he groans when Azarin’s grip in his hair loosens only to run gentle fingers through it as they both come down. Azarin’s eyes are closed and his chest is rising and falling heavily with his breaths, and he’s a little distracted with how soft Zuko’s hair is between his fingers, so he doesn’t pay much attention when his hand is brought up from between them. That is, until he feels Zuko’s hot mouth around his fingers, tongue licking between them only to pull back and lick across his palm. Azarin’s eyes shoot open and he sees his own cum on the tip of Zuko’s tongue before it disappears in his husband’s mouth to be swallowed. Azarin doesn’t think it’s possible, but even after just having such an intense orgasm, his cock twitches at the sight of it.

“I’m gonna miss you when you go to Ba Sing Se,” Zuko whispers, just before taking Azarin’s fingers into his mouth again even though there’s no more cum left on his hand to lick off.

Azarin stifles with a gasp when Zuko moans over his fingers, staring at where the Fire Lord’s lips are attached to his skin. “I keep telling you to say fuck the lawmaking and come with me.” It’s true, Azarin has been trying to plan for his trip to Ba Sing Se for weeks now and he’s always saying Zuko should come with him, but Zuko insists that changing the Fire Nation’s laws is extremely important and he can’t leave for more than a few days at most. So, they decided that they’ll save those few days for when they end up missing each other terribly, considering Azarin will most likely be gone for two months, if not more.

Zuko finally pulls back, letting Azarin’s fingers slip from his mouth as he hovers over him. “You know I can’t, Rin. I need to be here.”

“Why do you sound like you’re telling yourself that, not me?” Azarin tries to smile, because how much Zuko will miss him is cute, but he knows it isn’t going to be an enjoyable experience. For either of them.

“Because I am,” Zuko says, with sadness in his eyes, and longing, and fear. Azarin wants to kiss it out of him, but he decides to let Zuko speak instead. “I want to go with you and help you and Aang. I want to go with you because it’s the right thing to do, for the new Fire Lord to help rebuild the city his family destroyed. But...I  _ need _ you, Rin. I want to go with you because I need you so much now that thinking about being left here alone makes me want to curl into a ball and cry for the rest of my life.”

The tiniest hint of tears prickle at Zuko’s eyes and Azarin’s heart breaks. He doesn’t want to leave Zuko here alone, in the one place that his past could eat him alive and swallow him whole. Azarin wants to either be here with Zuko to keep him from spiralling at any given moment, or take Zuko with him to get him out of this place for a little while. He wants Zuko’s job to be a little less demanding, and he wants Zuko to be a little less of a good leader, if only for just a short while. He doesn’t want his husband to hurt.

“I’ll stay, then. I’ll stay here with you, and Aang can send me updates whenever he can.” Azarin knows this isn’t really an option, but he wants to offer it, because if Zuko takes him up on it then he will find a way to make it work. He will do anything to make sure Zuko is okay.

“You can’t do that,” Zuko’s voice is a whisper again. He shifts a little and drops down, pressing his face into Azarin’s neck. Azarin wraps his arms around him. “You’re the entire architect of the Ba Sing Se rebuilding project. You’ve been fighting with the Council and Sages for weeks to work out the negotiations you need and Aang is counting on you. You have to go, and I have to stay...we knew this might happen eventually, anyway.”

“It didn’t have to happen so soon, though. I hate that it has. You’re still so vulnerable, and so many things about this place still upset you…” Azarin lets out a sigh, moving his head to press his lips to the rough skin of Zuko’s scar. “I just want you to be okay, Zuko.”

Zuko lifts his head again, and this time the tears in his eyes are definitely prominent, because one slides down his scar and drips from his cheek. “I-I’m okay...I’m okay. As long as I have you in the end, I’ll be okay.”

Azarin kisses his husband deeply, because even though they’re both extremely upset about leaving each other, at least they both know that in the end, everything will be okay as long as they’re together.

Eventually, after a few more tears and conversation, they clean themselves up and go to sleep. Azarin is groggy and irritated when in the middle of the night, he’s woken up by footsteps next to the bed, and even though it’s pitch black in the room he opens his eyes and throws his hand out in a sleepy attempt to shove the legs away from him. “You don’t have to be so noisy when you wake up to pee, Zuko.”

“Huh?” Zuko’s half-asleep voice comes from beside him. In the bed.

Azarin jumps up and immediately bends fire in the direction of the person beside the bed and he catches the slightest glimpse of their face before the man shoves him back and tries to burn Zuko, who’s trying to get unwrapped from the bedsheets. The bed catches fire and now that he can actually see, Azarin throws a punch to the man’s face, knocking him down and getting on top of him to pin him down. There’s flames in his breath when he speaks.

_ “Really, _ Suchen? You think trying to kill us was a good choice?” Azarin punches him again, blood spilling from his nose finally. He’s so filled with rage that he doesn’t realize half of the room is on fire until Zuko is screaming at him to stop, and trying to pull him back.

“Azarin, we  _ need _ to put out this fire, do you want our wedding robes to  _ burn?” _ Zuko’s voice booms throughout the room, but Azarin’s gaze is locked on the man underneath him, who is now trying to spit his own blood on Azarin.

“I couldn’t sit back and let your treachery happen when I heard you stripped the Council and Sages of their power,” Suchen snarls, struggling against Azarin’s weight on top of him. “You both deserve to burn for this. You are nothing but petulant children, and two  _ boys _ in a sexual relationship with each other is the most disgusting excuse for a marriage I’ve ever seen! Your sins will no longer taint the Fire Nation!”

At this, Azarin lights a fire in his hand and intends to melt Suchen’s face off, but Zuko pulls him up and shoves him toward the door while guards begin to filter in to put out the fire on their bed. “If you kill him, we lose  _ so much more _ than if we just throw him in prison.”

Azarin knows Zuko is right, he knows that he’s thinking irrationally because of the rage that’s boiling inside him. He tries to take in a deep breath before he upsets his husband. “He said our marriage is a sin, Zuko.”

“I know what he said,” Zuko quickly responds, just as the room gets darker from the fire being put out. Zuko lights the lamps around the room before continuing. “It pisses me off, too, Rin. But you  _ cannot _ kill him.”

They both step aside as guards take the bleeding General Suchen out of the room, who once again tries to spit at both of them. It takes just about everything in Azarin to not bend fire straight at the man’s face.

Once everything is settled again and their bed is replaced with one from another room in the palace until they can have another made, they try to sleep again, but it doesn’t work. Neither of them can relax again, because they’d both just almost been killed by someone who was supposed to be helping them lead the Fire Nation. They’re only  _ just _ getting into the government reform they want to implement and already someone has tried to kill them in their sleep. How many more people are they going to piss off by changing the laws? How many more times will someone try to murder them over it? How many Ozai loyalists will try to start an uprising against them?

Azarin knew this wouldn’t be easy, but he also didn’t expect it to be  _ this _ fucking difficult, either.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next few weeks are spent bumping up security at the palace until Zuko feels safe again. Even though he had been the one to be calm while it was happening, Zuko seems to be much more affected by Suchen’s outburst than Azarin is. Zuko can’t sleep at all, not unless he counts the guards outside the door and at the windows. Azarin doesn’t even have to be in bed with him for Zuko to feel safe, because Zuko thinks that them being together when they sleep will leave them more vulnerable, that one of them could be used as leverage over the other. While Azarin agrees, he doesn’t like the fact that it feels like Zuko is pushing him away for the sake of their safety, or the fact that he now has more guards following him around than he feels comfortable with, or that he and Zuko are having sex less and less.

The one and only bright side to Zuko’s newfound paranoia is that he lets Azarin go to Ba Sing Se a lot more easily than Azarin expects. Zuko uses it to further his theory that they’re safer apart than they are together, and as much as Azarin hates it, he still leaves because he knows it will make Zuko feel better. He promises to write, because even if Zuko is in this paranoia-fueled haze that makes him not miss Azarin, it doesn’t mean Azarin won’t miss  _ him. _

Waking up in Ba Sing Se is almost like a fever dream for Azarin. The last time he was here, he screamed to Azula that he was in love with her brother, and Zuko made a decision that nearly broke him. Now Azula is locked away and Zuko is his husband. Destiny is truly a strange thing, as Iroh says, but Azarin really wishes it would stop slapping him in the face constantly. He thinks about his friends a lot, probably the same amount that he thinks about Zuko, if he’s being honest. He misses Katara the most, and when he had arrived in Ba Sing Se he half expected her to be there with Aang to surprise him, but he had been sorely disappointed. Of course Katara has to be in the South Pole helping her new grandfather rebuild the tribe...Azarin understands that. So he and Aang spend the first week in the Earth Kingdom Palace with the Earth King going over Azarin’s plans, and the next week actually out at the sites they intend to fix.

The train ride from the palace to the outer wall is a long one that he never gets used to taking, in which Aang is napping and Azarin tries to start a letter to Zuko before another long day of build plans that might just get thrown out anyway. Even though he’s trying his best, Azarin can’t find the words to describe how he feels. Empty? Lonely? Torn apart? He has no idea how their mothers did this for so many years. Then again, their story didn’t end well at all.

Azarin gives up after wasting two scrolls. He misses Zuko  _ so much _ and it’s only been two weeks, so why can’t he write a simple letter?

The south-facing outer wall is almost completely demolished, courtesy of Azula’s orders when she took over the city in the name of the Fire Nation. Apparently, she had made plans to tear down  _ all _ of the walls, but Ozai called she and Zuko back to the Fire Nation before she could enact that plan. Now, Azarin plans to help build an even stronger wall that even earthbending can’t demolish all on its own. If another war breaks out, Ba Sing Se won’t fall so easily, even from the inside.

“You  _ really _ turned into a morning person after becoming the ruler of a nation, huh?” Aang’s sleepy voice comes from beside Azarin, followed by a yawn as the Avatar sits across the earthbended table from him. Azarin has sketched plans of the infrastructure of the new wall laid out between them, held down by paperweights and their cups of tea. Aang looks over them with another yawn. “It’s too early to do math.”

Azarin rolls his eyes and smacks the top of Aang’s head, right over his blue arrow. “I need you to wake up and pay attention. You’re the only bender powerful enough to help me do this.”

“Why couldn’t you have gotten Toph? She could do this easy-peasy.” Aang sips his tea and makes a face, setting the cup down delicately. “That’s an... _ interesting _ choice of tea…”

“Toph is spending time with her parents and I’m not going to bother her right now, and the tea is one of Iroh’s new special blends. It enhances a bender’s focus.” Azarin smiles and drinks his own, trying to stomach the taste of it. He knows it works, but the taste is just awful.

Aang sighs, dropping his head down onto the table a little harshly. “This rebuilding thing is more difficult to deal with than ending the war was. I miss my penguin feather bed in the South Pole, and I miss my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, well, I miss my husband.” Azarin takes another sip of tea, trying not to think about the failed letters to Zuko he attempted earlier. “No one said this was gonna be easy.”

Aang looks up at him after that and Azarin swears he sees pity in the Avatar’s eyes, but he doesn’t get the chance to question it. “So, we’re solidifying the wall with metal hatchwork?”

Aang starts looking over the plans and they work through bending exercises with both Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation soldiers. His Fire Nation troops have been working over the last few days to make the metal framework for the inside of the wall and they bring him a sample that Aang bends some rock over. It takes just about everything Azarin has in him to break it, which is kinda the point. He’s happy with the results, but doing it on a much larger scale is going to prove difficult. He knows they’ll get it done, though, especially with the Avatar here to help.

Aang is in the middle of showing some earthbenders how to pull abnormally large amounts of rock up into the air, when the informant that Azarin had brought with him from the Fire Nation runs across the wall pathway to them. He’s out of breath and Azarin tries to offer him water, but the man refuses.

“Commander Azarin, sir...there’s news from the Fire Nation…” he says, gripping onto the ledge of the wall to hold himself up. Azarin stiffens.

“Is Zuko okay?” He immediately asks, then corrects himself, “The Fire Lord. Did anything happen to Fire Lord Zuko?” Azarin thinks that leaving was a mistake, that Zuko is hurt and he had every right to be paranoid because he’s just a sitting target without Azarin there to protect him.

The informant shakes his head, finally gathering his breath, and Azarin relaxes a little until the man speaks again. “Princess Azula escaped from the hospital, sir.”

Azarin feels like he’s been hit in the head with a brick. He barely registers Aang’s hands on his shoulders, Aang asking if he’s okay. He pushes the Avatar away and takes the informant by his robes. “I asked you if Zuko was okay. How can he be safe when Azula  _ escaped? _ She’ll kill him, you idiot!”

“Azarin, calm down,” Aang tries to reassure him and pull him back. Azarin lets go of the man and he bows, despite having just been insulted.

“My apologies for not being clear, Commander. The information we have says she is on her way here, to Ba Sing Se, sir. The Fire Lord is safe, he—”

“If he’s safe, then where the hell was he when Azula escaped from the fucking hospital that  _ he _ insisted we put her in?!” Azarin tries to keep his bending under control, but he can’t stop the smoke that begins pouring from his nose. Zuko wouldn’t have allowed something like this to happen, so what  _ did _ happen?

“Uh, Azarin…?” Aang is in front of him, but pointing behind him, and Azarin is thoroughly confused until he turns around.

Zuko is there, guards surrounding him as he looks directly in Azarin’s eyes. He seems angry. “I was on my way here, to surprise you. But I guess that gesture isn’t appreciated, since it’s apparently  _ my _ fault that Azula escaped.” His hands are curled into fists by his sides and Azarin wants to bury himself in the rock wall underneath him.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Zu, I  _ swear…” _ Azarin steps toward Zuko, shaking his head and letting out a sigh. He takes Zuko’s face into his hands and the feeling of the other’s skin against his own again is like lightning to his nerves. Azarin wants to get Zuko alone, as soon as possible. “I can’t believe you’re here...you were supposed to be too busy to come.” That  _ definitely _ doesn’t come out how he intends it to.

Zuko pulls Azarin’s hands from his face with an expression of hurt swiped across his features. “Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing? Can I not be included in what you and Aang are doing?” He sounds deeply wounded and Azarin wishes he could just learn how to say what he means without it coming out completely wrong, all the time.

“It isn’t a bad thing at all, I just…” Azarin trails off for a moment, trying to remember to be as formal as possible but also not  _ wanting _ to be because Zuko is right here in front of him and this is  _ all _ he’s wanted for the last two weeks. “You said you would be too busy when I asked you to come. Now you’re here and I’ve missed you, but I can’t even properly enjoy my time with you because Azula is going to show up and ruin it.”

Zuko’s expression visibly softens, and Azarin is grateful for it. He doesn’t want to get into an argument with the Fire Lord right here, in front of all these people. “I was just trying to come see you because I missed you...I made time in my schedule to stay a few days. Now Azula is going to ruin everything, yet again.” Zuko’s voice drops to nearly a whisper. “When will all this end?”

“We’ll get rid of her, don’t worry,” Azarin reassures. He presses a soft kiss to Zuko’s forehead and is delighted to see him smile in response. “Thank you for coming all this way just because you missed me.”

Before Zuko can respond, the informant steps beside them, clearing his throat. When the two step apart, he bows formally to the Fire Lord. “My Lord, Commander. We estimate that on foot, it will take the princess four to five days to arrive in Ba Sing Se. If she finds a faster way to travel, it may be three or less.”

Azarin sighs. “Pull troops from metalwork to guard every entrance to the city. Screen every person that enters, and I want her face posted on every single wall, door, train, and wagon in the city.”

“Right away, Commander,” the man bows again, then walks off to the stairway leading down into the train station beneath the wall.

Turning his attention to the airbender standing awkwardly against the ledge, Azarin gestures for him to come closer. “Aang, can you fly out with Appa and see if you can spot her, maybe slow her down a bit?”

“Can’t I stay and spend time with you guys for a little while? He said it’ll be at least three days until she gets here.” Aang sounds thoroughly disappointed, and it makes Azarin’s heart clench. He must be just as lonely as he’d been, without Katara. “I’ve missed Zuko, too…”

Smiling, Zuko steps forward and wraps his arms around Aang in a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you too, buddy.” Pulling back, Zuko keeps his hands on Aang’s shoulders. “If you two aren’t incredibly busy, we can go have some tea with my uncle and eat lunch somewhere. You can start chasing down Azula tomorrow.” While Azarin thinks trying to stop Azula as soon as possible is what they should be doing, he doesn’t want to upset his friend or his husband, so they put off the wall rebuilding until after Azula is taken care of.

They all talk on the train back into the city, Zuko sitting next to Azarin with their hands intertwined, and Aang across from them. Fire Nation guards fill the rest of the traincar, and Azarin would find it amusing if it weren’t annoying and suffocating. He can’t even walk out of his bedroom at night to use the bathroom without being followed by a guard or two. Zuko is used to it, Zuko feels safe with it, but when Azarin lived at the palace as a kid he was only followed by one guard and usually only if he went somewhere alone, which...he never did. Now, being an  _ actual _ part of the Royal Family, he has to be protected at all times, especially after what happened with General Suchen.

When they walk into the tea shop, every single head turns to look at them. Some of the people sitting next to each other whisper to one another, and Azarin squeezes Zuko’s hand to prevent himself from blowing up. He doesn’t remember the people in Ba Sing Se being this openly rude, but the last time he was here he wasn’t so  _ openly _ Fire Nation, either.

When they try to sit down at a table, two guards flank either side of it, and Azarin’s temper gets the best of him. He slams a fist down onto the table and stands again. “This is a  _ tea shop, _ and our presence here is making these people nervous to begin with. Wait  _ outside _ if you absolutely have to stay and guard us.”

“Yes, Commander, my apologies,” one of them says, while deep into a bow, then they both leave and Azarin sits back down next to Zuko with a sigh.

The Fire Lord is smiling, and he nuzzles his face into Azarin’s neck, kissing the skin there softly. “You’re hot when you’re being the Fire Commander.”

“Yeah, Azarin, even I was about to get up and go stand outside for some reason,” Aang adds, which actually makes Azarin laugh.

“I’m pretty sure even I don’t command the Avatar,” he says, and he goes to apologize for losing his temper, but he’s interrupted by someone coming to their table.

“I  _ thought _ I heard Azarin losing his temper out here,” Iroh is smiling wide and any annoyance Azarin felt about the guards is long gone. Iroh has such a calming effect on anyone he meets, and Azarin isn’t even sure he knows.

“Uncle!” Zuko unglues himself from Azarin’s side and wraps his arms around Iroh tightly. “I’ve missed you so much…”

Pulling back, Iroh’s smile never falters as he looks over Zuko. “I have missed you as well, my dear nephew.” He lets Zuko sit back down and turns his attention to Aang, patting the monk on the back. “It is nice to see you too, young Avatar! Azarin always comes to get your tea for you these days.”

Aang smiles a little anxiously. “Yeah...uh...I like to sleep in a lot nowadays…”

“Ah, to be a teenager sleeping the day away…” Iroh muses. He pulls out a pad to write their order on. “What will you be having?”

They have a nice afternoon with Iroh. He leaves the tea shop in his assistant’s capable hands while he goes to have lunch with them, and returns once they’re done eating. Zuko catches him up on what’s going on in the Fire Nation, including the fact that Azula escaped, but overall it’s a pleasant afternoon despite the way the morning had started.

When Aang, Azarin, and Zuko get back to the palace they go to their respective rooms. The Earth King had insisted that the Fire Lord have his own room while he stayed, and Zuko sees it as a nice gesture, but Azarin can’t help thinking that maybe the Earth King is blissfully unaware of the fact that Azarin and Zuko are married. Or maybe he’s actively choosing to ignore it, in which case, Azarin will have a talk with him the next time he sees him.

Since they had such a late lunch, they skip dinner. Azarin spends a few hours skimming over the wall rebuild plans and signing off on the military paperwork that had miraculously made its way onto the desk in his room while he’d been gone. At this point, he’s tired and wants to go to bed, but there’s no way he’s going to sleep well knowing Zuko is literally down the hall, alone. They could be cuddling, naked. Who doesn’t want that?

Clad in nothing but his sleep pants, Azarin exits his room and waves off the guards trying to stop him. However, when the guards in front of Zuko’s door prevent him from entering, he scoffs at them. “Are you  _ seriously _ preventing me from seeing my own husband? I don’t care if he’s the fucking Fire Lord, I am  _ going _ in that room and you’re  _ going _ to shut the hell up about it!”

“Commander Azarin, sir, I mean no disrespect…” One of the four guards in front of the door speaks up, sounding a little scared. “The Fire Lord is having a meeting with the Avatar. He asked for no interruptions.”

“I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean to keep  _ me _ out,” Azarin says, frustrated and annoyed and angry. He just wants to spend time with Zuko while he has the chance, before Zuko goes back to the Fire Nation and Azarin is left alone in his bed again, failing to write letters to his husband.  _ “Please _ step aside, before I burn down that door.”

“What’s going on out here?” Zuko’s voice comes from behind the door and when he opens it, his face lights up. “Azarin, why didn’t you knock or come in? Aang and I are just talking.” He reaches for his husband’s hand, squeezing it.

Azarin points to the guards that had finally stepped aside.  _ “These guys _ said you didn’t want any interruptions and wouldn’t let me in. I should have fired them on the spot, but I’m trying to be  _ different _ than the last regime.”

Rolling his eyes, Zuko pulls Azarin into the room and shuts the door behind him. Almost immediately, the Fire Lord throws his arms around Azarin’s shoulders and kisses him deeply, and all of Azarin’s annoyance and irritation dissipates as quickly as it had risen. He pulls Zuko’s body by the hips flush to his own, and even through the layers of clothing and robes Zuko has on, he can feel the heat emanating from the Fire Lord. Azarin wants to feel that heat against his skin, so badly.

Zuko is the one to pull away and Azarin wants to stop him, he wants to push him against the wall and kiss him forever. But he can’t, because Zuko moves toward the open balcony with a smile and Azarin can’t help but follow. Outside, Aang is leaning against the railing, eyes wide and looking up at the moon and stars above them.

“So what was all that noise, Zuko?” Aang asks, just before turning around and seeing Azarin. “Oh! I guess I’ll make myself scarce…” He moves to push past them, but Zuko grabs him by the wrist.

“No, Aang! We were talking, it’s okay,” the Fire Lord pulls him back.

Azarin nods, placing a hand on Aang’s shoulder. “What’s on your mind, Aang?”

At this, Aang’s eyes light up. He goes on to fill Azarin in on what he and Zuko had been talking about before, which is how much he misses Katara, and how awkward their relationship is lately. He says they’re having to learn each other all over again after spending a year just being friends, and Katara seems like she wants to do more than  _ just _ kissing, but Aang isn’t ready for that yet. Apparently, Aang was never taught about sexuality from the monks past mere romance, so he doesn’t know how to handle it, and even if he’s almost fourteen he’s still not exactly ready to explore even himself, much less someone else. Even though Zuko and Azarin aren’t much older than Aang and Katara, they’re a great deal more experienced in that department, and both of them try to give Aang as much advice as they can. The Avatar leaves happy, even if it’s late.

Yawning rather loudly, Zuko puts on a pot of tea once they close the doors to the balcony. “Uncle sent me a new blend. He told me to drink it before I go to sleep, and it’ll keep me from having nightmares hopefully.”

“You’ve been having nightmares?” Azarin questions moving to Zuko and making him put down the kettle. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Zuko shrugs, avoiding looking into Azarin’s eyes. “You haven’t written. They started after you left.”

Azarin takes Zuko’s chin between his fingers, forcing the Fire Lord to look at him. “Is that why you came here?” Biting down on his lip, Zuko nods, and Azarin lets out a sigh. He presses his lips against Zuko’s briefly. “What are the nightmares about? Is it what happened with Suchen?”

Zuko shakes his head and pulls away from Azarin to sit on the side of the bed. “I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to enjoy my time here and spend a few days with you before I have to go back to the palace alone.”

“Zuko…you’re the one that was pushing me to leave...” Azarin’s voice is quiet as he sits next to his husband, concerned. “But if you’re this lonely without me at home, you should invite people to stay with you so you’re distracted. I’m sure Mai wouldn’t mind spending some time with you, or Sokka. I’m not the only person in the whole world that cares about you.”

“But you’re the only person in the whole world that can make me feel better,” Zuko counters. He turns to face Azarin and leans his head against the other’s. “I know I thought it would be best if we were apart, but I just...I was wrong. I love you, Azarin, and I don’t like being apart from you. I feel like we  _ just _ got settled into our life together and everything is already going to hell again…”

Azarin hates seeing Zuko like this. He wants nothing but happiness and joy for the one person in his life that he cares about most, but Zuko’s past just never seems to stop catching up to not only him, but Azarin too. Zuko’s trauma from his father, people being loyal to the war trying to kill them, Azula escaping...how can they possibly try to build a future together if things from Zuko’s past continue to not only haunt him, but come after them both in a  _ very _ literal way?

The only thing Azarin can think to do at this moment in time is just pretend that none of it exists, and enjoy his limited time with Zuko.

Without saying anything, Azarin shoves Zuko down onto the bed and crashes their lips together in a hungry and desperate kiss. Zuko whimpers just a little into Azarin’s mouth, but doesn’t protest in the slightest. His arms slide around Azarin’s bare shoulders to hold him close, and Azarin pulls away only to run his lips and tongue down Zuko’s neck. The gasp that escapes the Fire Lord makes Azarin smile into his skin.

Zuko is desperate. He’s clinging onto Azarin and moaning and digging his fingers into Azarin’s back like he won’t be there in a few moments. Azarin would find it attractive if he didn’t know just how  _ actually _ desperate to keep Azarin around that Zuko is currently. Even knowing this though, he doesn’t stop. He moves lower down Zuko’s body, pulling open his robes easily and attaching his mouth to any piece of skin he can get to. Azarin flicks his tongue against one of Zuko’s hardened nipples, which elicits a low, sultry moan from him. The more Azarin pays attention to Zuko’s nipple, the more Zuko writhes underneath him and arches his back up to get more friction against any part of his exposed skin.

One of Zuko’s hands moves up to thread into Azarin’s hair as the Fire Lord groans and gasps in pleasure. Azarin lets go of Zuko’s nipple to move back up to his lips, crashing their tongues together immediately as his hands make quick work of undoing the tie keeping Zuko’s pants up. He pushes Zuko’s pants down just enough to expose his half-hard erection, then takes it in his hand and starts slow, languid strokes to bring it to full life. The moment Azarin touches the sensitive skin of his cock, Zuko moans a lot louder than he should. Azarin silences him by slapping his free hand over the Fire Lord’s mouth, then grips a little harder on Zuko’s length and strokes faster.

Zuko’s eyes are wide as he looks up at Azarin, but they soon close as pleasure overtakes him. Azarin thinks Zuko looks  _ so _ unbelievably beautiful unraveling beneath him. His eyes fall to where Zuko’s robes are loosely draped at his sides, the silk delicately touching his pale skin as his chest rises and falls with his heavy breaths. Azarin doesn’t think he will ever get tired of admiring Zuko like this, or admiring Zuko in general. He’s just so fucking beautiful.

As Azarin’s hand twists and squeezes, Zuko squirms and whines underneath Azarin. The way his breathing begins to get staggered tells Azarin that he’s close, so Azarin picks up the speed of his hand on Zuko’s cock and moves back down to lick and suck on one of the Fire Lord’s nipples again, which almost immediately sends Zuko over the edge. He comes into Azarin’s hand, groaning loudly even though Azarin is covering his mouth. His fingers are gripping onto Azarin’s back harshly, but Azarin ignores the pain as he watches his husband come undone.

When Azarin takes his hand off of his mouth, Zuko immediately kisses Azarin as deeply as possible while he comes down from his orgasm. Azarin himself moans into Zuko’s mouth and pulls Zuko up while he moves to sit on the edge of the bed. Their mouths never leave each other as Azarin positions Zuko in his lap, the Fire Lord’s thighs on either side of his own. Zuko’s robes slip down his shoulders to reveal his collarbones and Azarin takes that as an invitation to suck a bright red mark into the skin there. He lets out a long, low groan when Zuko begins grinding his ass against the erection straining in his pants and it isn’t much longer of this before Azarin is shoving Zuko down into the floor, on his knees.

Zuko pulls at Azarin’s pants and Azarin helps him slide them down to free his leaking length. Zuko immediately runs his hot, wet tongue up the underside of the cock in front of him, and Azarin tries to contain the moan that escapes him, but can’t...especially not when Zuko takes the tip of his cock into his mouth. The way Zuko swirls his tongue around it makes Azarin almost shudder in pleasure, but instead he just whispers Zuko’s name. His hands come up to twist and grip in Zuko’s disheveled hair, effectively getting the Fire Lord’s own cum in it, but that’s the  _ farthest _ thing from Azarin’s mind at the moment.

Zuko slides his mouth down further on Azarin’s cock and wraps his hand around the base, then starts to move his head up and down the length in his mouth. Azarin sighs out in pleasure, fingers gripping Zuko’s hair tighter, pulling him down farther to take more into the wet heat of his mouth. Zuko chokes just slightly, but the sensation of Zuko’s throat constricting around his cock nearly sends Azarin straight into an orgasm. Luckily, Zuko pulls off to catch his breath for a moment, then gets back to it.

Azarin comes the second time Zuko chokes on his cock. He doesn’t want Zuko to  _ actually _ choke, though, so he pulls his length out of Zuko’s mouth and the Fire Lord strokes him through his orgasm while Azarin shoots thick ropes of cum onto Zuko’s lips and cheeks. The sight is almost enough to make Azarin want to go again, to challenge himself with trying to make Zuko look more and more fucked out, but he knows it’s late enough as it is, and they need to rest if they’re going to be on high alert for the next few days.

Zuko doesn’t move. He keeps his eyes locked with Azarin’s as Azarin runs his thumb over Zuko’s cum-soaked bottom lip. Zuko parts his lips and Azarin gathers the cum from his chin, then shoves it into the Fire Lord’s mouth with his thumb. Zuko hums and sucks happily, eyes still sharply trained on the way Azarin is watching him. Azarin steals a glance between Zuko’s legs and sees that the other is hard again, and he’d be lying if he said the sight didn’t spark more pleasure to build within him.

“I love you,” Azarin says, quiet, not really believing he actually says it out loud. He’s too distracted with the way his cum is literally  _ dripping _ from Zuko’s face.

Still, Zuko nods, pressing a soft kiss to Azarin’s hand. “I love you, too, Rin.” He leans his head into Azarin’s hand affectionately, giving it another kiss. “We should clean up.”

When Zuko stands, Azarin instantly pulls him back down into his lap. He pushes a hand through Zuko’s hair, leaning into the Fire Lord’s ear to speak gutterally. “I want to fuck you.” Seeing Zuko’s skin flush with color makes him smile when he pulls back to look at him again.

“Rin…” Zuko takes in a sharp breath, looking away as he uses the sleeve on his robe to wipe his face down. “Not right now...I’m already so emotional…”

“Shh, I know,” Azarin responds. He kisses Zuko’s cheek. “I’m just saying...I  _ want _ to.” Does Zuko want him to lie about it? Azarin knows Zuko can’t have sex as often as both of them want, and he’s going to respect that, but it doesn’t mean he can’t — or  _ doesn’t _ — want it. “Seeing how hard you got again from sucking me off didn’t help much.”

Zuko actually  _ giggles _ and it’s probably the cutest thing Azarin has ever had the pleasure of hearing. “I just love pleasing you…”

“And that’s why you’re so hot,” Azarin smiles, and he wants to say more, but he knows if he does then he’ll get even more aroused. He doesn’t want to pressure Zuko into sex if he doesn’t want it. “Let’s go  _ actually _ wash your face off and try to get that cum out of your robes since you were just  _ so _ impatient to wipe it off.”

Azarin stands and pulls Zuko with him. They head into the small washroom attached to Zuko’s room and spend a few minutes laughing about how much cum is in Zuko’s hair and on his robes. When they finally crawl into bed together, Zuko is clinging to Azarin’s side with both a leg and an arm draped over him, but Azarin isn’t complaining one bit.

“Even though the next few days are gonna be awful, I’m still glad I came here,” Zuko mumbles this sleepily into Azarin’s chest. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed  _ you, _ Rin.”

Azarin smiles, fingers running through Zuko’s loose hair. “Then why did you push me away, Zu?”

At this, Zuko lifts his head to look at Azarin for a moment before returning it back to rest against his husband’s chest. The Fire Lord sighs. “I just wanted you to be safe. I still just want you to be safe, and the only reason your life is in danger is because you’re married to  _ me…” _

“And you feel guilty?” When Zuko nods, Azarin lets out a sigh, holding him tighter. “Zuko...what happened was  _ not _ your fault. How could it have been? Suchen already hated me and what happened at that meeting was just the last straw for him. He’s insane, Zu. A lot of the loyalists are insane, especially if they miss a regime that happily justified the genocide of an entire race of people.”

“That’s not it, Rin,” Zuko says, sounding a little defeated even though he’s consistently nuzzling his face into Azarin’s skin. “You wouldn’t have generals hating you and trying to kill you if you weren’t a part of the Fire Nation government. Even if we never created your position, you’d still be married to me and people would want to kill you just based on the fact that we’re two men in a relationship that will never bear any children to take the throne after me. Being married to me is as good as signing your death certificate.”

Azarin immediately pulls Zuko’s head from his chest and forces the Fire Lord to look at him, because he isn’t going to let Zuko continue thinking like this. Not when the truth is far different. “Listen to me, Zuko. Being married to you is the  _ best _ thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t care how many times someone tries to kill me because of the decisions we make within the government...that has absolutely  _ nothing _ to do with our marriage and you shouldn’t think it does.”

Zuko’s eyes search Azarin’s face, probably for sincerity, and Azarin is glad when Zuko relaxes a little. “I guess you’re right...I just hate this so much…” The Fire Lord’s tears spill before Azarin can wipe them away. “You don’t deserve to have people trying to kill you constantly again...you’ve lived your whole life in fear that your father will kill you and even after he died you were always in danger because of me and because of Azula. I just want you to be able to relax, I want us both to be able to relax for just a little while without having to be constantly looking over our shoulders for the next person to attack us.” He pauses, mouth open to say something else, but it doesn’t come out for a few moments. “I can’t lose you, Azarin...i-if something ever happened to you, I--”

Zuko breaks into a sob, and Azarin holds him as close as he possibly can.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs:
> 
> when it rains - paramore  
> in the dark i see - lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOTS OF TALK ABOUT PAST RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER. you've been warned. mental health and trauma aren't light topics but i feel it's important to include them in writing so it's a bit easier to wrap our heads around the things that other people might be going through.
> 
> also no smut. i could have added smut, but it was just too emotional at the end and i didn't wanna ruin it
> 
> [click to listen to the zurin playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3DDmbsUx1E36RsvagTNwKp?si=fExhKeqkQBencPL2-1aTlA)

When Azula shows up two days later, they’re more prepared than necessary, if Azarin’s being honest. The entire city -- lower, middle,  _ and _ upper rings -- has been evacuated to the crystal catacombs of Old Ba Sing Se, and Azarin as well as Zuko experience a sense of deja vu as they help usher in citizens to the place where their lives imploded against each other several months prior. It feels surreal to both of them.

Azarin, Zuko, Aang, Iroh and the Earth King decide that since the city is evacuated to keep its citizens safe, they could station both Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom soldiers all the way beyond the wall to the inside of the palace, where Azula is likely going to end up if she doesn’t try to just burn down the entire city itself. She probably wants to overthrow the Earth King again, as Zuko points out, so if they wait for her at the palace then they might have a better chance of defeating her. She’ll be worn down from travel and fighting off the troops put in place to slow her down.

“Looks like she made it past the inner wall,” Aang comments as he looks out the balcony of the throne room, which draws the rest of them to look, as well. There’s blue fire and lightning crackling into the sky not that far out, and Azarin starts to feel bad for the soldiers he put directly into the line of fire, but then remembers that this is  _ exactly _ the kind of thing they all signed up for when they joined the military.

“She’ll be here soon, then,” Azarin finally says, considering the rest of them are just staring out at the flickers of light in the distance. He looks over to Zuko, whose eyes are glued to the blue and red flames overtaking the buildings in the distance.. “Do you think you’re okay to do this, Zu?”

Zuko’s hand slips into Azarin’s and he nods. “I...I think I am. As long as I have all of you with me.” He smiles past Azarin to the rest of them, who return his smile. Azarin squeezes Zuko’s hand for reassurance because he knows there’s more happening in Zuko’s mind than he’s letting on. Azarin knows his husband has to be anxious about fighting Azula again so soon after he nearly lost his life fighting her a few weeks ago, but Zuko would never let anyone but Azarin know that. Zuko isn’t exactly the most  _ open _ person with people other than his husband.

“Azula will likely be more erratic and dangerous than she has ever been,” Iroh points out, with his gaze still locked out the window. Azarin stiffens a little because Azula was already insane...he doesn’t know what to prepare himself for if she’s going to be even more out of her mind now. “She has been locked away for several weeks now, and I’m sure she isn’t happy about it. She will target Azarin and Zuko, so it is best that the rest of us hold her off until she reaches them.”

“Where do you want us to wait, uncle?” Zuko questions, sounding a little too soft for this situation. The reality of it must finally be sinking in for him.

Iroh turns to face his nephew, with a small smile on his face. “You boys wait here while we escort the Earth King beneath the city. Aang and I will deal with Azula for as long as we can.”

Immediately, Zuko wraps his arms around Iroh and holds his uncle tightly. “Stay safe.”

It turns out that waiting anxiously for a homicidal firebending prodigy to show up to fight isn’t the most pleasant way to spend time with each other. All Zuko can do is stare out the window and he doesn’t seem to want Azarin’s comfort no matter which way he’s trying to give it. Azarin knows Zuko needs comfort and reassurance...he always does. But Azarin supposes that waiting for his sister to show up when they all thought they might never have to deal with her again isn’t something Zuko knows how to mentally prepare himself for.

“You should have some water, Zu,” Azarin suggests, after Zuko has shooed him away from the window for the third time since Iroh and Aang left. When Zuko shakes his head, Azarin sighs and pours it for him anyway, shoving it into his hand. “Drink it.”

Zuko eyes him a little warily but takes the cup anyway, drinking it all in one go. “I’m not trying to ignore you. I just...I’m really--”

“Nervous?” Azarin finishes for him, and Zuko nods, handing Azarin the empty cup and forcing a smile.

“More water, please?”

Azarin smiles back even though he knows Zuko is faking his own, but maybe if he tries his hardest to be a positive influence, then Zuko will follow suit. Azarin doesn’t know how well that’s going to work out, though, considering Zuko is the one that usually stays positive about things nowadays. Still, he pours Zuko more water and lets his fingers linger a little against Zuko’s own when he hands over the cup again. “It’s a million against one, Zuko. There’s no way we won’t win this.”

Moving away from the window, Zuko shakes his head as he sips his water and heads to sit in the throne on the other side of the room. “I know we’ll take her down. I’m not worried about that.” The Fire Lord sighs and when he looks up at Azarin his eyes are filled with doubt and concern. “I’m worried about what she’ll say to us. She’s going to insult us, she’s going to say I’m a terrible leader, she’s going to bring up our father. I’m not ready for that, Rin. Azula always says the worst things just to get a reaction out of someone and usually I can handle it, but...this time it’s different.”

Of course, Azarin knows exactly why it’s different for Zuko now. Azula will bring up Ozai and Zuko will not react well, but as long as Azarin is there to handle the situation if it takes that turn, then Zuko shouldn’t worry. Azarin will  _ always _ protect Zuko and keep Zuko safe, even from his own family and his own thoughts. Surely Zuko knows that by now.

“I understand,” Azarin says finally, taking the few steps up to stand in front of where Zuko is sitting. “But I’m here with you. I’ll always be here to protect you, Zu. Always.”

Zuko smiles and sets his cup down beside him, standing and wrapping his arms around Azarin’s neck to kiss him deeply. Azarin relishes the feeling of it far more than he should, because there’s a fight waiting for them any moment, but Azarin isn’t going to pass up any opportunity to kiss his husband. No matter the situation at hand.

Of course, the moment the kiss deepens is the moment the door to the throne room is burst open and flames spill into the air around them. Zuko and Azarin jump apart immediately and they have to dodge multiple guards being thrown across the room as well as more fire being sent toward them, and when Azarin looks up toward the doorway all he sees is smoke.

It’s the voice that sends the chill down his spine.

“Where’s my precious Zuzu?” Azula purrs, and not a moment later she steps through the smoke. Azarin can’t believe how utterly wrecked she looks; her hair is strung out and unwashed, clothes ripped, with cuts, bruises, and dirt littering her previously pristine skin. He stares, unable to take his eyes off her, as she saunters closer. “I realized I forgot to give you your wedding present, Zuzu. I believe I promised you death?”

At this, Azarin stands straight. “Don’t even  _ think _ about going near him, Azula.”

“You might command the military now, Zaza, but you most certainly don’t command  _ me,” _ Azula’s words are seethed and her fists are clenched. Her voice isn’t pleasant, and even though it’s still  _ her voice, _ there’s something missing there that Azarin can’t place. “I will put you in the grave with your father where you were meant to be  _ years _ ago.”

Before Azarin can react, Zuko is in front of him, which is probably a good idea considering Azarin was about to start throwing fireballs everywhere. “You don’t have to do this, Azula. We can talk and things can go back to the way they used to be, you can come back to the palace and be a princess again--”

“I don’t  _ want _ to be a princess, I want to be  _ Fire Lord!” _ Azula shouts, cutting off Zuko, flames spilling from her every limb. “And  _ you  _ took it from me! Father never wanted you to take the throne, you’re too  _ weak! _ You should be  _ dead!” _

Azarin grips Zuko’s shoulder from behind him, but doesn’t say anything because this is Zuko’s argument to have with his sister. “Maybe you’re right, but that didn’t happen, and I’m offering you a way to come back to the palace and live how you used to if you just  _ talk to me _ .” The Fire Lord steps forward, arms out, and Azarin’s hand slips from his shoulder. “Your doctors say you’ve finally started to open up to them and that’s all I want for you, Azula. I don’t want you to be angry anymore, I don’t want to put you in prison like dad.  _ Please, _ Azula, I’m begging you to see reason…”

Even though Zuko is making incredible points and Azarin himself is proud of him for trying to show mercy to his sister, he also knows that Azula cannot be reasoned with. Iroh himself has said that she is too far gone to listen to anything or anyone rational, and even though her doctors at the hospital  _ have _ spoken of her progress there, the fact that she escaped to come to Ba Sing Se and destroy it shows that she can and will regress back to how she used to be. Zuko is hopeful that he can have a relationship with his sister one day, though, so Azarin has no doubt that his husband will continue to throw these chances out at her in hopes that she will take him up on it one day.

“I don’t need your pity, Zuko! I want you  _ dead!” _ With fury in her eyes, Azula screams her last word and jumps to kick blazing hot blue fire at both of them, to which Azarin and Zuko both counter with their own attacks. Azula doesn’t hesitate, she doesn’t falter, even though it’s clear that she has to be exhausted from fighting her way through all the provisions they’d put in the city on top of both Iroh and Aang. Azarin thinks she has to be running on pure adrenaline at this point.

The whole room is on fire after a while. The heat is almost too much but Azarin pushes through it because he and Zuko have Azula cornered and she  _ has _ to give up now, but she doesn’t. She kicks and punches fire at them both while they block her attacks, and Azarin thinks that she seems like a caged animal fighting for its life. Only, she isn’t, and she’s fighting to kill her only sibling.

Because they’re both exerting so much energy trying to keep Azula contained, neither Azarin nor Zuko notice the extra footsteps that enter the room through the countless flames engulfing the tapestries on the walls. Azarin only looks over when Iroh’s presence is beside him and he wonders where Aang is for a brief second, but doesn’t linger on it for long because Azula is the pressing matter at the moment.

“You’re outnumbered, Azula, just give up,” Zuko says, when Azula stops firebending for the smallest of moments to finally catch her breath. She seethes and sends more fire toward them, but it’s weaker this time. Azarin notices she’s sweating, and panting, and leaning against the wall behind her for support.

“You are tired, my niece. Please let us help you.” Iroh’s voice is soft and reassuring despite the look on his face and the fact that he’s in a bending stance. “Your father would not want this for you.”

“You don’t know  _ what _ my father would want, old man,” Azula hisses, and Azarin is heavily reminded of how Zuko used to speak to Iroh years ago. “He certainly wouldn’t want me to listen to  _ you.” _

Azarin tries not to get too angry, because he can almost sense the tenseness coming from Zuko beside him. Zuko had been right about Azula bringing up Ozai constantly. “Why do you even follow him so closely, Azula? Your father is a  _ horrible _ person. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself if he’s ever treated you like a daughter and not a subject of his?”

“My father is the  _ greatest _ leader the Fire Nation ever had! His ideas were revolutionary and if he had been able to enact them you’d all see things the way--” Azula’s mindless rant gets cut off by Zuko, who steps forward, and raises his voice to a volume that Azarin never thought was possible for him to reach.

“HE  _ RAPED _ ME, AZULA!” Zuko booms, and that  _ really  _ is not what Azarin expects to hear him say. Both Iroh and Azula gasp, but neither of them say anything as Zuko continues, and Azarin is too frozen in shock to keep his husband from going on about this. “Is that a  _ revolutionary idea _ that you stand behind? Raping your children to teach them a lesson?”

The shock in Azula’s face is clear, and Azarin doesn’t think any of them expect her to start  _ stuttering, _ but she does. “Y-You...you’re l-lying…”

Zuko shakes his head, stepping forward even though Azarin tries to get him to stay put. “Think about it, Azula. He dragged me away from that Agni Kai himself. Where was I directly after he burned me? Do you even remember?” When all Azula can do is stare at her brother with her mouth hung open, stuttering, Zuko continues. “You don’t, because you didn’t see me for at least an hour after. He took me to my bedroom and raped me with a fresh burn wound on my face, Azula. When he was finished he banished me and Azarin and I was so fucking traumatized by what he did to me that I didn’t speak for over a week after it happened and my mind had to repress the memory of it just for me to be able to function properly again. The memory of it  _ ruined _ my wedding night and now I cannot even live in my own home without having traumatic episodes multiple times a week over it.”

“You’re  _ LYING!” _ Azula screeches, tears streaking her cheeks and flames spilling from her throat. “Father  _ wouldn’t _ do something so horrible to his own child!”

“He was going to burn the entire world and murder hundreds of thousands of people, Azula! What makes you think he wouldn’t do something like this?” Zuko sounds more angry and frustrated than Azarin thinks he’s ever heard him, which prompts him to reach forward and place a gentle hand on his husband’s shoulder again, trying to provide even the smallest bit of comfort. Zuko looks back at him for a short moment, and Azarin sees tears flowing down his face just before he looks to his sister again. “He did it, and he acted like nothing happened, and he tried to bribe me into staying quiet about it with boys when I came back to the palace because he didn’t know that I had repressed it. He  _ isn’t _ good, Azula...he’s brainwashed you into thinking he’s the one you need to follow when you should be following what  _ you _ feel is right.”

Azula’s breathing is heavy as she glares holes into her brother. Azarin expects her to attack again, he expects her to scream and cry and fight until her very last breath because that’s what Azula  _ does... _ but, she doesn’t. Her expression falls and so does she, down to her knees, sobs racking her body and Zuko pushes forward to join her and wrap his arms around her.

This is the exact moment that Azarin realizes Zuko had been right. Azula didn’t need prison, or a hospital; she needed the truth.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


This time, Zuko doesn’t send his sister to a hospital far away. He takes her back to the palace with him and sends for her doctors to stay at the palace as well. Zuko wants her close and doesn’t want her to feel like she’s alone, like she has no one she can trust. She can trust Zuko, now. Azarin can’t even begin to explain how proud of Zuko he is for taking care of his sister so well.

Before they left Ba Sing Se, Azula wouldn’t let go of Zuko for anything more than bathing. She won’t speak, but she’s incredibly possessive of Zuko, and Azarin didn’t want to upset either of them, so he let them spend their time together and even toned down his goodbye kiss to Zuko an incredible amount. He has a feeling he’ll be going home early, anyway; he doesn’t know if he’s exactly comfortable with Zuko being in the palace alone with Azula, even if the princess has her doctors there to keep her in check. She can easily incapacitate any of their guards if she wants to, so drawing comfort from the fact that Zuko will likely have her room on tight security at all times isn’t an option.

When Aang asks what happened, Azarin doesn’t exactly know what to tell him. He lies, and says that Azula finally came around and she’s going to continue her breakthroughs with Zuko at the palace. Azarin doesn’t like lying to his friends, he doesn’t like lying in general considering he spent the majority of his life lying to  _ himself, _ but this isn’t something that’s his to tell. Even if it were, Azarin doesn’t think Aang would take it well; he might regret letting Ozai live when everyone knows that if Aang had killed him, he’d hate himself, no matter what Ozai has done. Azarin doesn’t want Aang to feel guilty for letting Zuko’s rapist live when he had full capability to kill him, he doesn’t want Aang to worry about anything heavier than how much he misses Katara at the moment. The kid’s whole life has been burdened with the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. Azarin refuses to add to that.

“Commander, sir. General Iroh has requested to speak to you,” the guard’s voice through the door catches Azarin off guard, but if he’s being honest he’s just been lying in bed taken over by his thoughts for who knows how long. He also realizes that he hasn’t seen or spoken to Iroh since Zuko left, and he had chalked that up to being busy with the wall rebuild, but now that he thinks a little harder about it, it isn’t normal. Iroh hasn’t been at the tea shop at all, and Azarin is now concerned for why he’s suddenly visiting him at the Earth King’s palace.

Suddenly nervous, Azarin gets off his bed and ties the sash around his waist once more before he opens the door to find Iroh with a solemn look on his face. The elder man pushes past him and Azarin shuts the door again, then turns to him. “Is there something wrong, uncle? I haven’t seen you since Zuko left…”

At the mention of his nephew, Iroh seems to wince a little, but otherwise remains still as he stares at Azarin. When he speaks, his voice is low, and much unlike him. “You are a wonderful husband to my nephew, Azarin. You take care of him in ways that no one else can, in ways that no one would begin to comprehend. I thought of myself as a protector of his, at one point, but…” Iroh’s words seem to choke off, and it’s now that Azarin sees the tears lining the old man’s eyes as he stands deathly still.

Azarin moves to give Iroh some form of comfort, but the man finally moves, only to step back and shake his head. Azarin stares, worried. “Iroh, please...what’s wrong? Why are you saying all of this?”

“I…” Iroh starts, but breaks into a sob and drops to his knees on the floor, and Azarin has quite literally  _ never _ seen Iroh like this. It’s so shocking that even when Iroh looks up at him with tears streaming down his face, he stays put where he is, listening to how weak the man’s voice sounds. “I couldn’t protect him from his own father. I  _ didn’t _ protect him. My brother, as wretched as he is...I never thought he could do such a heinous thing. I underestimated him, and Zuko paid the cost…”

_ Now... _ now, Azarin understands. Iroh is blaming himself for what Ozai did to Zuko, even though there was absolutely no indication that Ozai had the intention to do it, and there was nothing anyone could have done to stop it, either. But seeing as Iroh has thought of Zuko as a son for the last four or more years, it makes sense that he would blame himself for something terrible happening to his nephew. Azarin himself had thoughts like it when Zuko remembered it happened.

“Uncle…” Azarin starts, finally gaining mobility back in his body enough to step forward and kneel on the floor in front of Iroh. “Zuko is okay. He’s hurt, and he’s damaged, but he was hurt and damaged even before he remembered it happened. His father has damaged him in more ways than just that, and there really wasn’t much you could have done to prevent any of it…”

Shaking his head aggressively, Iroh sits back on his heels and grabs Azarin by the shoulders harshly. “I should have known, Azarin. We both should have known that more happened. He didn’t speak for well over a week, he was intensely aggressive if anyone tried to touch him for months after we left...we should have known…”

At this, Azarin feels the tiniest prickle of anger tinge his nerves. He knows Iroh is frantic, and worried, and upset, but is he really suggesting that Azarin, at fourteen years old, should have deduced that his best friend had been  _ raped _ by his father just because Zuko didn’t want to be touched for a few months? Azarin thought it was because of his burn, which would be a valid explanation and also probably added to the physical and emotional trauma that Zuko was going through. But Azarin was just as much of a kid as Zuko was at the time, and they still aren’t as much of adults as everyone likes to think they are now. Azarin is eighteen, and Zuko is seventeen, and they somehow rule the Fire Nation, but Azarin knows they both still have a lot of growing up to do.

Azarin pulls himself out of Iroh’s grip and stands again, hands clenched into fists by his sides. “I was a kid, Iroh. Yeah, I was concerned for my best friend, but I don’t know where you’re getting the idea that I should have known what happened to him.” He pauses, waiting for Iroh to say something, and continues when he doesn’t. “It wasn’t my responsibility to take care of him just as much as it wasn’t yours. We both chose that for ourselves because we love him. But...damnit, Iroh,  _ I was a kid, too! _ It isn’t and wasn’t fair for you to put this obligation to take care of Zuko onto me. He wasn’t the only one that needed guidance, he wasn’t the only one that needed a father.” At this point, Azarin is fighting back the water in his eyes as he stares down at Iroh, hating himself for letting all this come out at the worst possible time but hey, he’s never been known for good timing.

“I--I didn’t know you felt this way,” Iroh starts, voice going quiet once more. “I made many mistakes when it came to my nephew, and it seems I made many more when it came to you.” If he’s being honest, this isn’t the reaction that Azarin expects, but he isn’t going to take it for granted. “You are right, Azarin. Zuko was my priority, and only when you began to threaten his safety did I turn my attention to you. I...I am sorry. Please, Azarin...please forgive me.”

Iroh is leaning forward into a formal bow on the floor, and Azarin doesn’t know what to make of it, he doesn’t know how to respond because he’s only ever been asked forgiveness from Zuko, who’s done far worse things to him than Iroh has. He was able to draw out his forgiveness to when the pain didn’t sting quite as much as it had before, to when love overpowered the pain. He doesn’t know if it will be the same for Iroh, but he knows that Iroh deserves much more forgiveness than Azarin even has to give. He also doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to let go of the pain just yet.

“Of course I forgive you, Iroh, but you just...you can’t keep putting things like that on me.” Azarin stops for a moment, then adds, “Or on yourself. You did all you could do. With him, with me. You’re only one person.”

Maybe Azarin is a lot better at forgiveness than he thinks he is.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Two weeks later, when he gets back to the Fire Nation and into the palace, he interrupts a dinner between Zuko and Azula.

It’s odd, seeing them together again, and not fighting or at the very least insulting each other. When Zuko is done showering him in kisses and crushing him in a hug, he returns to the table and drags Azarin with him; he’s seated across from Azula, with Zuko at the head of the table, next to both of them. Again, it feels just…  _ so _ strange to see the siblings engaging in normal conversation. So much so that Azarin misses something Azula addresses to him, and his first instinct is to defend himself for the onslaught of insults she’s going to throw his way for ignoring her or not paying attention, but it never comes.

“Honestly, Azarin, you’d think by now you’d be able to listen to people talking about things that disinterest you, considering how many meetings with those god awful Sages you have to have.” Azula’s voice is...well, it isn’t  _ pleasant, _ but it isn’t normal for her, either. She’s bantering with him.

Azarin tries to laugh. “I’m tired from traveling, is all,” he says, smiling at the servant that brings him a glass of wine and a plate of food, then turns his attention back to Azula. “You were talking about a medicated tea?”

Azula nods. “Zuko consulted uncle for it and had it approved by my doctors, if you’re wondering why I’m not currently locked in a room somewhere.”

“I wasn’t,” Azarin lies, because he was in fact, wondering why and how Azula was not locked away somewhere in the palace. But he’s not about to voice that exact train of thought, not before he’s had time to gauge how Azula will react to things. “But, I’m glad it’s helping. I know Zuko has been worried about you.”

Azula’s eyes turn to her brother, but they’re not as sharp as usual. Azarin thinks he sees a hint of something like admiration in them. “Yes, well, if it weren’t for Zuko, I’d be locked away in a prison cell and left to rot like our father.” She looks back to Azarin, the corners of her mouth lifting into the ghost of a smile. “However, I have some questions about the tea uncle gave me. He told Zuko that you’ve had it before.”

It’s now that Azarin realizes a lot of things. The tea Azula is taking is the same tea Iroh made for him to keep his body from reacting to his triggers. Azula has also not once called Zuko “ZuZu” as she normally does. Zuko, however, seems restrained, like he’s waiting for something to happen. Azarin can almost feel the tension coiled tight within his husband’s body, and he knows it has to be because he’s waiting for one of them (if not both of them) to snap. Azarin doesn’t know what’s happened in the weeks since they’d left Ba Sing Se, but Azula has to have been making some sort of progress if Zuko is allowing her to have dinner with him so nonchalantly. Then again, this  _ could _ just be the first, and that’s the apprehension Azarin is picking up on.

His eyes move between the two of them as he pushes all of these thoughts, and more, aside. He has to give Azula a chance, if only to ease Zuko’s mind even a little. “So it’s  _ that _ tea, huh?” He starts, with a smile in tow. “I remember it. Iroh gave it to me twice; once when I was speaking with him about my father torturing me, and again when I was forced onto Zhao’s ship.”

“I thought I recognized the smell of it,” Zuko chimes in, sounding pensieve, then looks to his sister. “Azarin was trying to push back the trauma he went through and ended up hurting me because I tried to touch him. Uncle made him talk it out and gave him the tea to help.”

Azula seems interested. She leans forward, elbows resting on the table as she points her chopsticks at Azarin. “It  _ does _ seem to quell my anger quite a bit. If I remember correctly, when your father is brought up, you tend to lose your cool  _ rather _ quickly, Azarin.”

At this, Azarin lets out a bit of a cynical laugh as he takes more sips of wine;  _ she _ has been the cause of him losing control of himself by mentioning his father,  _ plenty _ of times. “I can’t say you’re wrong, but you’ll either have to share that tea of yours or I’ll need a  _ lot _ more wine if we’re going to bring up Zhao.”

“We aren’t,” Zuko responds, immediately, while placing a hand over Azarin’s. He gives his sister a pointed look. “Right, Azula?”

Azula nods once more, clearing her throat. “Right,” she says, and Azarin thinks he sees her once again attempting a smile, but it looks extremely strained. “So, is it possible to have  _ too _ much of it? It seems to wear off quickly for me, which is why my dear brother here only lets me out of that godforsaken room the moment I’m finished drinking it.”

“I’m not quite sure...I did have a  _ lot _ of it while I was on Zhao’s ship. He forced me to have meals with him and every time, it sent me  _ right _ back to being a kid and my body would react.” Azarin pauses for a moment to sort out his thoughts. Iroh wouldn’t give them something that could be harmful in large amounts, would he? “I don’t think uncle would give it to us if it’s possible that it could hurt us. If it could, he would have told us.”

“You, maybe,” Azula quips, with a roll of her eyes. Azarin avoids eye contact as she continues. “But me? He might want me to be a blubbering fool that can’t do anything for themselves.”

Hearing this, Zuko shakes his head, and Azarin can feel that tension still coiling up inside his husband. “Uncle wouldn’t do that. He wants you to get better as much as the rest of us.” The Fire Lord smiles at his sister, but Azula doesn’t attempt to return it this time. Her eyes seem to widen a bit and Azarin can see her pupils dilate even from across the table. He tenses.

_ “Get better?” _ She hisses from behind her teeth, fists clenched on top of the table. Suddenly Azula is on her feet, and Azarin follows nearly instantly, assuming a bending stance while Azula’s voice rises.  _ “You’re _ the ones trying to brainwash me, not father! Father wanted me to rule the world with him, father cared about me, but all you two care about is your  _ fucking _ selves!”

The fire that’s sent toward Azarin is easily avoided as he leaps over the table and attempts to restrain Azula’s arms. He looks to Zuko, who seems shocked into stillness, and speaks over Azula’s screams. “So I assume dinner is over?”

This seems to startle Zuko into action. He shakes his head as he stands up, then takes Azula’s now tear-stained face in his hands; she calms almost instantly and Azarin is too shocked to even let her go. “Azarin is your family now, too, Azula,” Zuko starts, voice soft and serene, which Azarin has only ever heard when they’re alone together. “He’s my husband. Do you want to hurt him?”

At this point, there are guards surrounding them and should Azula escape Azarin’s grip (which is highly unlikely), she would have to fight her way through them. If Azarin’s experience with that tea is any indicator, she won’t have the strength to pull off something like that for at least an hour, even if the mind-numbing effects are wearing off for her at the moment. So, Azarin lets her go and she falls into Zuko, shaking her head so aggressively that Azarin thinks he hears the joints in her neck crack once or twice.

“I-I’m s-sor-ry, Az-Azar-rin…” Azula stutters out into Zuko’s robes, much to Azarin’s disbelief. He doesn’t know how to respond, so he doesn’t, and he lets Zuko and the guards take her away.

Azarin somehow finds himself exiting the palace even though he’s only just arrived, even though he’s exhausted and wants to rest, even though he misses his husband and is worried about him.

Somehow, Azarin finds himself heading straight for the prison tower.

He doesn’t listen to the guards that followed him telling him it’s dangerous for him to be out at night, he doesn’t listen to the guards at the prison tower telling him it’s even  _ more _ dangerous to be there without more support, and he  _ definitely _ doesn’t listen to the guard outside of the cell he’s looking for telling him no one but the Fire Lord is allowed in. Azarin melts the lock off of the outer door and enters, heart racing and pulse thumping loud in his ears.

When he sees just how utterly wrecked the man in front of him looks, all that adrenaline and rage turns into a smug smile; perhaps Aang  _ did _ serve justice by not killing him.

“To what do I owe this pleasure,  _ your highness?” _ Ozai seethes from behind his bars, hands gripping the iron until his knuckles are white. Azarin knows this is a terrible idea, he shouldn’t be here, he should be getting ready for bed with Zuko. Instead, he’s here, about to have an argument with a fallen king over the children he has irrevocably damaged.

Azarin sits in the chair the guards had brought him, smoothing down his robes before looking back up at Ozai. “I’m not the Fire Lord. Zuko is. There’s no need to talk to me like that, I didn’t usurp you.”

“You took my bending!” Ozai snarls. Azarin doesn’t flinch. “I’m powerless because of you!”

_ “Aang _ took your bending. Be glad he spared your life. I didn’t force him to give me your bending, he chose to do that on his own.” They stare at each other for a few moments before Azarin continues. “And you’re powerless because of yourself. You tried to destroy the world and the world wouldn’t let that happen.”

Ozai glares at him for a few silent moments. “Why are you here, Azarin?”

Taking in a deep breath, Azarin prepares himself for the absolute worst. “I’m here because you raped your son and now he’s irreversibly damaged.”

The faintest smile pulls at Ozai’s lips. “Is he just now telling you about that? I thought you were best friends —  _ soulmates! _ How could your precious Zuko not tell you about something so awful that happened to him?” His voice is mocking and it causes anger to build within Azarin, but he controls it to the best of his ability.

“He didn’t tell me because he didn’t remember,” Azarin starts, fists clenched so tight that his nails are digging into his palms. “You traumatized him so badly that his mind repressed the memory. It wasn’t bad enough that you  _ burned _ him in the fucking face — oh no...you had to assert your power over him in the most vile way possible.”

The chuckle that emits from Ozai’s mouth makes Azarin want to vomit. “He couldn’t handle it  _ that _ much? I knew he was weak, but this is a new low.”

Azarin stands from his chair abruptly, causing it to fall behind him. Fire streams from his hands. “He was  _ thirteen years old,  _ Ozai. You traumatized him, your own son, in a way that can never be repaired. I’m having to pick up the pieces that  _ you _ broke.” When Azarin points toward Ozai, flames shoot toward him and he tries to avoid it through the bars. “Look where he is, and look where you are. No one is lower than you, especially not Zuko. He is more of a man and a leader than you could ever possibly dream to be.”

“How can he be a leader  _ or _ a man when he’s clearly taking it in the ass from you?” The vulgar words from Ozai shock Azarin, but not for long. Even after he regains his composure though, he doesn’t respond, and Ozai continues. “If he didn’t remember it happened, and now all of a sudden he does, then  _ something _ had to trigger the memory for him. That means you’re fucking him. I’m not stupid, Azarin.”

“I beg to differ,” is Azarin’s immediate response. He picks up his chair from the floor and sits in it again. “Yes, I’m fucking him. That doesn’t make him any less of a man or a leader. Being vulnerable enough to allow someone to have that power over you — especially after what he’s been through — is a strength that you will never know. You took that power and abused it, you stripped him of his strength and instilled in him a fear of being himself. The damage you've done to your son is irreversible. And you don’t even feel bad about it.”

Ozai grins, attempting to push his head through the iron bars. “The only thing I feel remorse for is not killing him when I had the chance.”

Azarin knows he’s being baited, but he can’t help himself from letting his anger in. It’s been so long since he’s been able to get out his aggression, and if there’s anyone in the entire world to take out his anger on, it’s Ozai...for so many reasons that he can’t even begin to name.

He attacks Ozai, who avoids it, laughing. Azarin stays in his chair despite his rage. “You’re disgusting. You have no idea how much I fucking hate you.”

“The feeling is mutual, maggot,” Ozai growls his words. “How do you think I feel knowing my son is married to the boy whose existence in our lives was brought on by my wife betraying me?”

“How do you think I feel being in the same room as the man who tortured and banished the woman my dead mother loved? The man who  _ raped _ his son— my husband— just to teach him a lesson about respect? The man who manipulated, brainwashed, and lied to hsi daughter so much that she can’t even function as a normal human being anymore?” Azarin counters, leaning forward. “You have hurt every single person I love. If you recall, I let my own father die. Who’s to say I won’t murder you where you sit?”

“Zuko won’t let you kill me. He has too many issues with me to not want to work them out at some point. In fact, he’s already paid me a visit and asked for my advice.” The smirk on Ozai’s lips makes Azarin’s blood run cold as he stares at the man in shock. Zuko really turned to  _ his father _ for advice? And didn’t tell him? “If you kill me, you lose him.”

Ozai is right, but Azarin isn’t about to let him know that. “You keep thinking that. The moment we get what we want out of you, you’re fucking dead.”

“And what is it, exactly, that the two of you want from me?” Ozai poses the question with genuine curiosity. Azarin can’t blame him. He probably thinks they threw him in prison just to satisfy Aang, and that he could be killed any day now.

Azarin shakes his head and gets up from his chair. It only takes a few steps to reach the bars of the cell, and he kneels down to come face to face with Ozai. “You’re going to tell us where Ursa could possibly be. Zuko isn’t going to lose the only good parent he has like I did. We’re going to tell her all the things you’ve done, especially to Zuko, and  _ she’s _ going to be the one to kill you.”

For just the slightest of moments, Azarin sees fear flash through Ozai’s eyes, but it’s gone almost as fast as it had come. “Don’t worry, I won’t have to tell you where she is. The moment she hears Zuko is Fire Lord, she’ll come running back.”

“It’s been months. I highly doubt that.” Azarin stands again, moving back to his chair.

Ozai scoffs. “If there’s anything in this world that woman loves most, it’s her son and  _ you. _ She’ll be  _ fucking ecstatic _ to hear you’re together.” He lets go of the bars and leans back against his cot, staring at the ceiling, and Azarin wonders why Ozai suddenly can’t look at him. “I should have known. I was so caught up in becoming Fire Lord that it distracted me from what was going on in my own home. If I had known sooner, she could have been banished for breaking her wedding vows and then  _ you _ never would have come to live with us. Zuko never would have had the courage to stand up to me or Azula, and just maybe the Avatar wouldn’t have had the knowledge of the Fire Nation he did, and he wouldn’t have beaten me. This whole thing is  _ your _ fault.”

Despite what Ozai is saying and how immature he’s being, Azarin actually smiles. “Are you  _ admitting _ that I’m a good influence on Zuko?”

“I’m not admitting  _ anything,” _ Ozai snaps, facing Azarin again. “I’m regretting my decision to allow you to stay. I should have banished you  _ weeks _ before I banished Zuko, but I was too distracted with becoming Fire Lord. I let myself become blind to the true snake within the palace. It wasn’t Ursa, it was  _ you.” _

Azarin actually laughs at this because  _ wow, _ Ozai had been threatened by a child’s presence. “Am I so powerful that even as a child, you were threatened by me?”

“I have  _ never _ been threatened by you,” Ozai growls this through the bars. “Come over here and I’ll show you just how  _ threatened _ I am.”

“Why? So you can rape me?” Azarin questions, then shrugs. “Sorry, I’m not attracted to old, bitter men like you.”

“You’re right,” Ozai begins, voice softened just a little. Azarin wonders why. “You’re attracted to smaller, weaker men, because your father always tried to control you. Now, you take the control for yourself. You and I aren’t so different, Azarin.”

This is what  _ absolutely _ sets Azarin off. In an instant, he’s at the cell bars, hand wrapped around Ozai’s throat while it heats up and burns his skin. He raises Ozai to his feet. “I am  _ nothing _ like you.” He shoves Ozai back, watching the man grip his burned neck and choke for air. “We’re done here. Have fun being alone.”

Azarin turns to begin walking out of the room, but stops at the sound of Ozai’s strained voice. “Look at what you just did. Your anger gets the best of you and you lash out. It makes so much sense now, that Zuko would choose to be with someone just like his father who neglected and abused him. His mind craves the relationship he never had, and he found it in you.”

Before Azarin can even think, he’s slashing a stream of fire across the iron bars of Ozai’s cell. The flames burn Ozai’s hands and he shouts in pain. Azarin goes to say something, but he’s interrupted by the main door to the room opening; Zuko enters and rushes to Azarin, pulling his arms back to prevent him from attacking again.

“Rin, what the hell are you doing?!” Zuko looks frantic, eyes moving from Azarin to Ozai, then back again. “Why did you come here?”

Azarin pulls his hands out of Zuko’s grip, then starts walking toward the door. “It was useless, anyway. Let’s just go home.”

“What did you do?” Zuko’s question is aimed at Ozai, voice aggressive, which makes Azarin stop and turn to look. “What did you tell him?”

Ozai, now wiping his freshly burned hands on his clothes, actually laughs. “Nothing he didn’t already know in the back of his mind.”

Zuko bends some fire too, but at the wall instead of toward his father. “You’re worthless, and all you do is cause destruction. Do you even know what we’ve been through with Azula tonight?” The Fire Lord pauses, then shakes his head as his father glares. “I’ll have you punished for whatever you did to him.”

“Being your father is punishment enough.”

Azarin thinks Zuko is going to blow up over that, but he doesn’t. He just moves to Azarin and takes his hand. They get back to the palace silently, as the sun is coming up. Azarin gets in bed with his clothes still on and Zuko follows, lying his head on Azarin’s chest and wrapping his arm around his husband’s hips. They don’t speak for a long while, and Azarin thinks Zuko has fallen asleep until the Fire Lord lets out a long sigh.

“Rin, why would you go see him? You know all he’s going to do is lie. Why are you letting whatever he said get to you?”

Azarin shrugs, eyes on the ceiling above them. “Because what he said isn’t a lie.”

“Well, what did he say, then?” Zuko questions, his fingers gripping Azarin’s robes just a little tighter.

Azarin doesn’t want to tell him, because he’ll just feel bad all over again for the trauma he remembered. Zuko will feel like a burden, when he’s anything  _ but _ that. Still...Azarin doesn’t want to lie to him. He can’t.

“He said that he and I are extremely similar. He said that it makes sense to him now, why you’re with me...because you now remember the terrible thing he did to you, and you’re seeking comfort in someone exactly like your father. He said that you want the relationship you never had with your father, so you get it through me, because...because I’m so similar to him. And because I’m dominant, and I have anger problems, and I’m controlling.”

Zuko doesn’t say anything for a while. Azarin takes that as agreement, and he starts to berate himself in his mind. He needs to be a better person, a better husband, a better lover. He needs to be less like Ozai and Zhao, and more like Ursa and his mother. He needs to—

“None of that is true,” Zuko says, low. He looks up at Azarin and presses his lips to the other’s jaw for a moment. “My father is very good at taking a somewhat truth and twisting it into something it’s not. He’s done that my whole life...you just rarely interacted with him while you lived with us so you aren’t able to see through it. Yeah, I do have a lot of damage when it comes to him and it would make sense that I want someone to fill the void that he never filled. But that’s exactly why you are  _ nothing _ like my father, Azarin.”

Feeling hot tears spill from his eyes, Azarin looks down at Zuko but shakes his head. “But I am, Zu. I’m just like him. Look what I did to him tonight.”

“No, Rin. No. You have every right to want to hurt him...we all do. He made the war so much worse when he became Fire Lord, he had plans to destroy the entire  _ world, _ Rin.” Zuko pushes his hand through Azarin’s hair, which comforts him a little. “That doesn’t even include us finding out what he did to me on top of everything else. Of course you’re angry at him. I think everyone in the world wouldn’t mind bringing him a little pain. But that doesn’t make you  _ like _ him. You’re soft, and kind, and beautiful inside and out. You take care of me in a way that no one else ever has or ever will. You’ve risked your life to protect me and you  _ married _ me because you thought we might die the next day. You  _ do _ fill the void that my father left  _ because _ you are nothing like him, you’re everything he never was.”

Azarin holds Zuko as tight as he possibly can, his tears falling even harder now. He feels nothing but joy and pure love pulsing through him. Being with Zuko is everything he had ever dreamed it would be, but even better than that. It has exceeded his wildest expectations, and Azarin doesn’t know how it could possibly get better, but then it does and he’s blown away. He loves Zuko so much that his entire soul feels like it’s so full he could explode. He never wants that feeling to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a surprise for y'all. [click here](https://twitter.com/revaIinks/status/1366096806082445316) to see a drawing of azarin that i commissioned from a friend! YES HE IS BEAUTIFUL I KNOW. i love this person's art style and I'll probably be giving them all my money to draw azarin bc they did such a good job...i was speechless.


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